Another time perhaps?
by BadgebunnyUK
Summary: An AU story set when Caroline comes home from Oxford one summer and meets a young Kate. What could have happened if they had met back then.
1. Chapter 1

_**Another time, perhaps?**_

**A/N- This is a little idea of an AU about Caroline and Kate meeting one summer before Caroline married John. Not sure how long it will be.**

"She doesn't want to be cooped up indoors all summer."

"How would you know what she want's" Her mother sniped in reflex.

A disinterested shrug and her father went back to staring out of the large window, probably imagining himself anywhere else. Caroline didn't know why her parent's still insisted on this show of togetherness every time she came home, they weren't fooling anyone, and it only got more difficult to endure with the more time that Caroline spent away, amongst people who didn't loathe each other.

The sound of laughter and chatter bubbled up once again from the long table a few feet away and Caroline glared at the group of eight young men and women who were enjoying themselves, completely oblivious to any disruption they might be causing to the rest of the pubs patrons.

"Get us another drink, Caroline." Her Dad instructed, barely looking at her.

"This'll be the last mind." Celia said. "You can't turn up to work smelling of booze tomorrow and it's beginning to get a bit noisy in here anyway." She warned him, nursing her own small glass of wine.

Caroline rose, happy of an excuse to leave the table, she strode across to the bar passing the young rabble as she went. She had to pause to ask one of the young men to pull in the back of his chair as she passed, with an excuse me. He turned just noticing her and grinned, looking up and down the length of her legs that were exposed below her knee length skirt.

"Alright sweetheart, sorry about holding you up." He said tucking in his chair slightly so that Caroline had to squeeze around him with an impatient sigh. "Come and join us if you like." He called too her back.

Caroline rolled her eyes and gave the barman her order.

She carefully made her way back to the table, balancing the triangle of drinks in her hands now, she decided to take a slightly different route around the long table and as she did so she caught sight of a new face watching her with a smile. A young, dark skinned woman was peering over the rim of her pint glass at Caroline as she passed and there was something in the way she watched her that made Caroline feel suddenly self conscious.

When the blonde was safely back to her table she allowed herself to look over at the table and locate the woman who had watched her, for a second look. The young woman was sat beside the quietest of the men and she laughed loudly now as she lent across the table to talk to another girl, but as she sat back onto the bench she occupied, she cast another look at Caroline, their eyes meeting unexpectedly and Caroline looking away quickly.

She was very pretty. Caroline thought as she glanced over one more time and was greeted with a warm smile. Very pretty, with a lovely smile, and eyes. She looked friendly, she was obviously popular, Caroline watched as a boy at the other end of the table began clamoring to get her attention for a story he was telling. Caroline wondered what that would be like. She had friends at Oxford, a couple of very good friends and some pleasant acquaintances but she spent most of her free time in the library, studying, or in the lab, helping out. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to be the centre of a large group of friends with nothing but fun on their agenda, that had never attracted her before.

"You want to go and have a drink with the young lot?" Her Dad spoke up suddenly.

Caroline coloured and shook her head, fixing her eyes back on her almost empty glass.

"Of course not!" Celia jumped in. "Our Caroline doesn't want to be socialising with a bunch of hoodlums like that." Celia exclaimed flabbergasted.

"They have drunken pillocks at Oxford as well you know." Her Father said huffily before the table descended once again into an uncomfortable silence.

Xxxx

"They your parents?" A voice said behind Caroline.

Caroline span around, unaware that anyone else was out here as she watched her parents stride ahead of her to where the car was parked.

"Yes." See confirmed as she found herself confronted by the gorgeous smile she had been trying not to daydream about since she had first seen it an hour ago.

"Thought so, you looked bored." The young women said, holding her arms around herself against the cold, she optimistically wore only a cardigan and the summer evening had turned cold.

Caroline smiled. "Yeah, well, we don't see each other a lot so I guess... You have to make the effort."

"You could have joined us...the lads are a bit daft but...they're harmless enough." Another genuine smile.

"Thanks, but I am not much for...socialising, making friends..." Caroline tried to explain.

"You're not shy? You don't seem shy." Dark, interested eyes asked her.

"No." Caroline glanced at her parents as they disappeared around the corner, she would have to follow soon. "I just don't like ...many people...I suppose..."

Kate chuckled at the womans honesty.

"They don't like me much." Caroline added quickly, for some strange reason she didn't want to leave this woman with the impression that most people got of her, that she was a snotty cow.

Kate's sparkling smile spread across her face as she realised that the blonde had just revealed something about herself. "I can't imagine that being true."

"I have to go." Caroline said, pointing after her parents.

"I'm Kate." The young woman called as Caroline took a couple of steps away from her.

"Caroline." Caroline replied, turning back momentarily.

"Maybe I'll see you again Caroline." Kate said as she made her way back inside the pub.

Caroline hurried away, feeling light all over, maybe this summer wasn't going to be the worst ever, after all.

XXX

_A/N- Thanks to all who read and review. I have a few ideas for where this may go and I hope to do short but quick updates. _


	2. Chapter 2

_Another time perhaps? Chp 2_

It was the fourth time in as many days that Caroline had wandered past the pub. It wasn't exactly her parents local, but it was a nice pub, at least her Mother had thought it was acceptable as pubs went.

Today Caroline barely even registered that she was passing the destination that she had set out so particularly to pass, she had pretty much resigned herself to the fact that she wasn't going to bump into the girl from the other night and she was letting her thoughts return to the books she wanted to order at the small library.

"Caroline?!" A voice called from the door of the pub.

Caroline turned to find the girl of her recent daydreaming standing smiling broadly at her.

"Hi!" Caroline said in genuine surprise, momentarily lost for words.

"Kate." Kate supplied.

"Yeah, Kate...Hi." Caroline said as Kate came out of the pub and took a few steps toward her.

Kate was wearing ripped jeans, the light coloured type that were meant to look distressed, and Caroline could see the toes of her black Dr Marten boots poking out from beneath them, her T-shirt was white with a slogan that Caroline couldn't make out beneath the bright orange oversized shirt it had been coupled with. Kate had three thin braids on one side of her face, where they were tucked behind her ear, which had a long earring dangling from it.

Caroline felt dowdy in her plain fitted dress, but at least her small heels brought her closer to the impressive height of Kate.

"Where you off to?" Kate asked now.

"Library." Caroline replied, wishing at once that she didn't sound so stuffy. "Some research to do." She expanded.

"Oh yeah? What subject?"

"Chemistry." Caroline informed.

Kate raised her eyebrows as she processed the information. Caroline was used to a mixed reaction when she told people what she was studying, it seemed a lot of people still thought this an odd subject for a woman.

"Where do you study?" Kate continued curiously.

"Oxford." Caroline said. "I've just graduated from a four year course and I'm going back to complete my masters next year."

"Blimey! Oxford? You must be some kind of genius?" Kate commented, clearly genuinely impressed.

"What about you?" Caroline asked, finding she was actually interested.

"I do languages, at York. I just finished my first year. I love it. I am near enough to come home when I want to, you know, like when I run out of clean clothes or I need a decent home cooked meal. But I get to be there and do my own thing." Kate chatted on.

Caroline nodded knowingly. Part of the reason she had selected Oxford was the distance, the main motivation of course had been that it was the best, she didn't like to settle for less than the best when it came to learning, but the distance had certainly been an attractive prospect. It felt like she was in a different world when she was there, like she was someone else and if her parents had been able to call on her at the drop of a hat it really wouldn't have been the same.

"Are you going to come in for a drink?" Kate asked hopefully.

Caroline raised one shoulder in an uncertain shrug. "I should probably get going." She said, trying to casually glance inside and see who Kate might be with.

"Come on, my mates are going now, we could sit out back, they have a nice beer garden." Kate persuaded.

Caroline wasn't sure why she was even hesitating, she had come this way in some hope of seeing this woman again and now she was ready to run away, knowing full well she would regret it later.

"Okay. It's a nice day I guess one drink wouldn't hurt." She agreed finally.

Kate gave her a dazzling smile and held the door of the pub open so Caroline could enter before her. Kate raced past her now to the bar and ordered two drinks. The jukebox was playing a pop song that sounded vaguely familiar to Caroline, a hit from a few years back, probably the last time this place updated its music. It was the Bangles, one of her previous housemates had played it often. _If she knew whats she wants. _Catchy.

Caroline noticed two young men and a woman getting up from their table and coming over to where Kate stood at the bar.

"We're heading off." The young girl said, her hand squeezing Kate's arm as she passed giving Caroline a guarded smile.

One of the lads that passed elbowed Kate gently in the ribs and gave her a smile. "We'll see you later."

Caroline hoped they hadn't left on her behalf but was glad to see them go. Kate carried the drinks outside to where a couple of wooden tables stood empty. It was nice out here, the grassy slope was bathed in sunshine and boxes of flowers lined the walls with colourful blooms spilling out of them.

Kate placed a glass of wine before Caroline and sat her own half glass of lager on to the table.

"Is that alright?" Kate asked suddenly unsure. "I saw you were drinking it the other night."

Caroline ginned at Kate's sudden nervousness and nodded. "It's great thank you." A thought suddenly occurred to Caroline. "Was that...a boyfriend?" She asked, surprised by her own boldness but all at once desperate to know.

Kate nearly choked on her first gulp of beer. "Gary? No way. He's just a friend. I am currently considering my options, relationship wise." Kate grinned. "How about you Caroline? Have you left your heart in Oxford?"

Caroline frowned fleetingly into her glass. Caroline's heart, if she even had one, which people had called into question in the recent past,was no longer in Oxford. Well perhaps a small piece of it lingered there but she had to put that disaster firmly behind her.

Xxxx

Caroline let herself into the quiet house and thought she heard her Mother in the kitchen, her usual domain. Caroline opened the door to find Celia at the dining table. On seeing her daughter Celia got up and turned away, seeming to wipe at her face with both hands. Celia's eyes had the red rimmed look of someone who had been crying. Caroline didn't ask why, she could guess why, so she pretended not to notice.

"Hi Mum." She said, taking off her blazer and hanging it on the back of a chair as she moved to flick on the kettle.

"Caroline, you've been gone ages!" Celia accused.

"Yea, I bumped into someone and went for a couple of drinks." Caroline said as if it was a regular occurrence.

"Well, your dinners completely ruined, I'll have to put it in the bin now, waste of good food." Celia tusked. "I wish you'd have rung."

"Mum I didn't say I'd be back for dinner, I am 22 years old and for ten months of the year I don't even live here!" Caroline began sharply.

Celia looked tired and hurt. Caroline knew that once she would have done anything to keep that face from looking the way it did now. When she was at school she liked nothing better than being at home with her mum for one of their girls nights in, watching television or listening to the radio together, Celia telling her stories of her youth. Now when Caroline looked at her mother she couldn't help but feel that twinge of disappointment, of betrayal. No matter how she tried to push it aside she couldn't help but feel that her mother had let her down and when she could throw herself into her studies she could almost forget it, but here with her now it was becoming increasingly difficult.

What was the point in days like today where she had spent time with someone who she had instantly clicked with, whether that was as a friend or something more, when she knew that nothing could truly come of it? Her Mother would never support her, let alone what her Dad would say.

"I'm going to take my tea up to bed." Caroline sighed, the shine slightly fading from her day.

Xxxx

_**A/N- Thanks for reading. Back soon. xx**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Another time perhaps 3**

_A/N-Okay. Being that we don't have very much information on Kate's background as of yet I have had to get creative with what I imagine could be her homelife. As this is AU I can just go crazy but I have tried to stay as much with the character as I can. _

Kate held a dress up against her body and looked down at it, then with a frown returned it to the rail.

"It's tough coming back after the first year. Once you get a taste of adult life, a bit of independence." Kate mused as she flicked through a rail of brightly coloured jackets.

"My Dad is all..._.you can't use this place as a hotel! You have some respect! Find yourself something to do young lady_! He still thinks I'm his baby." Kate shook her head smiling fondly. "I bet you don't have that problem?"

"You mean because I'm so old?"Caroline asked in mock seriousness.

"I was going to say sophisticated but...yeah ancient!" Kate joked.

"You get on though?" Caroline asked curiously, pretending to be interested in a skirt.

"With my Dad? Yeah, I do. He's Nigerian, I guess he came over here hoping for better opportunities so he's proud of me. He's proud of us all."

"How many of you are there?" Caroline asked.

"Three. Older brother, younger sister. I am the middle child. Apparently that explains a lot about me." Kate explained. "Sorry, a friend is studying Psychology and her favourite thing is to practice it on us."

"So what does being a middle child say about you?" Caroline asked, moving to a clothes rack closer to Kate.

"Well, it explains why I am a great negotiator and why I often feel left out or invisible, why I have a large social circle and apparently..."

Caroline was listening carefully, storing away all the information Kate was sharing.

"Apparently it explains why I am so super sexy and attractive to all!" Kate teased with a mischievous grin.

Kate swept around to Caroline's side of the clothes rack and seized her hand. "Come on!"

Kate was naturally very easy with physical contact, she often reached for Caroline's hand or put her arm through hers as they walked along, and something that Caroline would naturally recoil from had quickly become something she cherished.

"You are very clearly an only child!" Kate told her.

"Why do you say that? Could it be because I'm spoiled? Selfish? Don't play well with others?" Caroline said, an argument she was more than familiar with.

"Hey!" Kate said, stopping them abruptly in the middle of the street and turning to Caroline seriously. "I was going to say that you are happy with time alone, relate more easily to adults than your peers and have strongly held opinions. Plus that time I saw you with your mum and dad gave it away a little, you didn't look like you had anyone to share the burden of your parents with." Kate reasoned.

Kate led them out of the shop and back into the street, holding on to Caroline's hand. They had been in most of the clothes shop in this street and bought nothing between them. Caroline would not normally enjoy this aimless kind of browsing around shops, she had a couple of second hand book shops which she liked to visit in Oxford and one or two big chain stores that she visited to buy her clothes, but she was not the kind of girl who spent the day perusing racks of clothes in independent stores.

"We should go shopping in Leeds one day." Kate suggested. "I love the arcades there, much more choice and then the markets always good for a bargain. Ooh and the Corn Exchange of course, you can get something a bit different from there. We could go next week?" Kate proposed. "If I can convince Daddy to give me some more money that is. He thinks I should be working through the summer. Which I probably should be."

Caroline nodded, she had worked every summer, until this one, since being 15years old, and she had always saved every penny, she had never needed to ask her parents for money, she didn't like to be in the position of needing anything from anyone.

Caroline was so absorbed in Kate and everything she was saying, with her hand fit warmly around Caroline's, that she hadn't noticed that they had come a few streets away from the main parade of shops to a more run down area where the few shops looked suspiciously like they may have been shut down. Caroline couldn't remember ever having been here before.

Kate stopped them outside a dusty looking shop with instruments and records hanging in the window.

"Where are we?" Caroline asked.

"My favourite shop in the world." Kate grinned at the surprise on Caroline's face.

Inside was quiet, Caroline didn't notice the little man sat behind the till with a newspaper until Kate called a greeting to him.

Kate began to finger the rows of LP's, flicking from back to front, her eyes skipping quickly from one cover to the next. Caroline watched her and gazed around the room, it was stacked high with music memorabilia with no order or organisation to speak of.

"It's fab isnt it?" Kate said.

Fab was not the word that Caroline had brought to mind but she was intrigued by Kate's enthusiasm.

"This is your favourite shop?" She asked.

Kate nodded. "I like languages, mainly because I like to communicate, especially with people who are different, from different countries and I really want to travel and be able to speak to everyone. But music is my real passion. It's like a language of it's own...but one that everyone knows already." Kate explained.

"Perhaps not everyone." Caroline voiced doubtfully.

Kate began to slap her hands against the box infront of her, drumming out a beat and then to Caroline's surprise she began to sing, clearly, sweetly, not looking at Caroline but craning back her head as if she was singing to the sky. The man at his corner till did not even look over at them. The words were in a language Caroline didn't recognise but she was captivated. Then quickly Kate stopped and looked expectantly at her.

"There." She said simply. "You think you know what that song was about?"

Caroline thought about it, she had been so startled by the outburst that she hadn't thought much about what the words might mean. However the song had started slow, the beat heavy and after a few lines had sped up and become more uplifting.

"I don't know." Caroline said.

"Have a guess." Kate asked.

"Someone who was sad, maybe heartbroken, finding happiness again?" Caroline tried.

"See! Music speaks to us all. I proved my point." Kate said smugly.

"What was that?" Caroline asked.

"Oh, Nigerian gospel music." Kate said, moving on to another box of old records.

"It was amazing!" Caroline complemented.

Kate chuckled and continued to root through boxes while Caroline picked up one or two items before putting them back in their places without a clue what she was really looking for. Caroline listened to classical music, scores from her favourite musicals and her guilty secret was a bit of Fleetwood Mac.

Back on the pavement outside, Caroline dipped her hand into the carrier bag that Kate was swinging by her side. Kate stopped to let her see her purchases. Caroline looked amused.

"All that talk about music appreciation and you come out with this?" Caroline was looking at the 12inch single of Pet Shop Boys, It's a Sin. "Seriously?"

"Sometimes music is emotive, thought provoking and powerful...other times...it's just fun. There is a good mix. Here." Kate handed the bag to Caroline, who took them without understanding.

"They're for you. I already own most of them...or my brother does, which is the same thing."Kate assured.

Caroline was stunned by the thoughtfulness and felt tears spring to her eyes, which she quickly pushed back, her words of thanks got stuck in her throat.

"But...I thought you had no money?" Caroline said. "I can't accept these, really."

"Well, you could always try and get a refund from grumpy in there but I don't fancy your chances!" Kate teased. "Come on Caroline, you act like no one ever gave you anything!" She said, grinning as she linked an arm through Caroline's.

Xxxx

"Dad?" Caroline stood before his arm chair. "I was wondering...A friend gave me some records, I haven't seen you use the player in the front room for a while...would it be okay to take it up to my room?"

Her fathers brow rose and he began to get up out of his chair. "Come on." He said, leaving the room. "I'll help you with it."

He was halfway up the stairs with the machine, Caroline following with a speaker in each hand, when Celia burst into the hallway.

"What are you two up to?" She called.

"Just taking this upstairs." Caroline called as her Dad ignored the woman.

"I've some Beatles LP's downstairs." Her Dad told her as he knelt and slipped the wires from the speakers back into the record player. He opened the top of the player and blew at the layer of dust. There was the black shiny sight of a record already on the turntable. Her Father picked it off and looked at the label in the centre.

"The Kinks." He said with a smile. "I used to love this, I remember your Mum dancing to it before you were born. She was a bit of a mover back then, on the quiet." He smiled, looking back to another time.

Caroline couldn't imagine it, a time when her parents were young, carefree, in love? She couldn't picture them dancing together or listening to records and she suddenly felt sad for them both. As she watched her Dad pick himself up from her bedroom floor, she thought about how little she really knew about him other than him being her Dad. Caroline had always sided with her mother in their ongoing war, without question or reason and now she felt like they were strangers on opposite sides of a fight she didn't really understand.

"Thanks Dad." She said as he disappeared around her door.

XXX

_**A/N- Thank you for reading, following and for reviews, I appreciate them all.x**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Another time perhaps?4**

_**A/N- Just a short one today. More soon. Thanks for all the **_

Kate stretched out on the picnic blanket, her hands behind her head and let her eyes shut out the glare of the sun, sighing contently. Caroline tried not to stare at her, she had kicked off her pumps and scrunched her toes up before releasing them to relaxation.

"Ahh, I never want the summer to be over!" Kate said as she soaked up the sun, her cropped t-shirt riding up and showing caramel coloured skin and the toned muscle of her middle. "We have had six whole days of sunshine and no rain, do you think that's some kind of record?"

Caroline chuckled. "Up here? Perhaps."

Caroline did enjoy the sun, even though she was fair and would burn on a really hot day, her freckles coming out to party, this summer sun was just about the level she could handle.

Caroline let her gaze roam around the park at the other inhabitants gathered here, she could see some small children playing with a ball and an older man with his dog on a lead, somehow she felt kindly toward them all, as if her simple happiness made them all more agreeable by mere association.

"Maybe I should come and see you when you go back to Oxford?" Kate mentioned aloud.

Caroline stiffened slightly where she sat cross legged, a text book in her lap.

"Really?" She asked. "It's a long way." Caroline told her seriously.

"You don't want me to?" Kate asked with a frown.

"No, no it's not that." Caroline told her quickly.

The truth was that Caroline couldn't imagine Kate fitting in with her life at Oxford, not because of who Kate was but because of who Caroline was when she was with Kate.

"I just think you might find it boring." Caroline said with a throw away shrug.

Kate smiled. "Well, you'd be there." Kate reminded. "I don't find you boring."

For a moment Caroline wanted to trust Kate, that she could take her home to Oxford and everything would be as wonderful there as it had been here, since she met the young woman, but it didn't seem likely.

Kate rolled on to her front and picked a daisy, she twisted the stem between her fingers, making the flower dance around and then plucked at one of the delicate white petals.

"She loves me, She loves me not." She said as she picked at the next one and then the next. "She loves me." Another. "She loves me not."

There was one petal remaining and Kate had just uttered a "Loves Me." They could both see how it was going to end and as Kate's lips made a sulky pout, Caroline put her hand over Kate's preventing her from seeing the action through.

Kate smiled up at Caroline and they seemed to still, looking only at one another.

"Kate!" An unfamiliar voice called from the path and Caroline watched as Kate sat up and two young men ambled over to their picnic spot.

"Alright lads!" Kate greeted, her hand shielding her eyes from the sun so she could look up at them. "What you up to?"

"Nowt, just off for a drink, not seen you in the pub for a bit, fancy joining us?" He asked.

"Nah, I'm making the most of the sunshine." She said. "Might pop in for one later though." She told them.

The lads cast curious glances Caroline's way and made no move to leave as if waiting for an introduction.

"This is Caroline." Kate said. "She studies in Oxford, she's home for the summer."

The boys nodded at Caroline and she gave them her best closed lip smile. "Hi."

"Maybe we'll join you for a bit." One of the boys suggested. "It is nice out here, you got any food left?" The boy wedged his way into the space between Caroline and Kate and began to stick his hand into the cool bag that Caroline had brought along which did hold the few remains of their lunch.

Caroline looked scandalised as the young man brought out half a sandwich and popped it into his mouth.

"Oi! You pig!" Kate giggled, hitting him in the shoulder and then pulling her legs up to her chest and slapping away the guys hand as he reached to poke her in retaliation.

Caroline felt her cheeks burn, she stared at her book, praying that no one would notice and that the boys would leave, she deeply resented their intrusion on her time with Kate and even more so because Kate didn't seem to mind it.

"Sorry Caroline, this is my cousin Mickey and his mate Al, they were just leaving." Kate said pushing the boy beside her in his shoulder.

"Fine, we know when we're not wanted." Mickey said and jumped up suddenly. "See you in the pub later, I'll even buy you both a drink." He winked.

Kate watched them go before turning to Caroline. "You alright?" She asked.

Caroline nodded. "Yeah sure."

"Do you want to go for a drink later?" Kate asked curiously.

Caroline shrugged. "If you like." She would come up with an excuse when the time came.

Kate watched Caroline thoughtfully now as she picked at blades of grass from the edge of their blanket.

"You never want to hang around when my mates are about...but it's not like you're shy, I saw you send back your lunch in that cafe yesterday...you certainly are no shrinking violet." Kate said carefully. "And you have never introduced me to any of your mates." Kate pointed out. "Or family. Don't you think that's a bit weird?"

"Maybe." Caroline admitted, wishing she could leave it at that but sensing that Kate wouldn't allow it. "I only have one or two friends left in Yorkshire, most of them moved away or we stopped talking. I don't have anyone else to really introduce you to, except my parents and I wouldn't want to inflict that upon you, we haven't known each other that long, you might go running for the hills."

Kate relaxed a little as Caroline spoke. "So...it's not that you're ashamed to be seen with me then?" She asked.

Caroline frowned and shook her head vehemently. "Never."

"I'm good with parents, they like me." Kate assured. "If we're not going to the pub later, maybe we can go back to yours?"

Caroline smiled in agreement even as her heart sank.

xxx

**Thanks guys x**


	5. Chapter 5

**Another time perhaps? 5**

_**A/N- Sorry there was a bit of a delay with this one, I have been very busy re-watching the entire two series since my DVD's finally arrived!**_

When they got inside, the house was quiet and Caroline dared to hope that no one was in, though she had no idea where her mother would be if she wasn't here. Caroline took off her jacket and shoes and placed them neatly in the cupboard by the door, Kate realised what she was doing and kicking off her pumps too. They were silent and Caroline suddenly felt like a naughty teenager sneaking in late, it was ridiculous and if she hadn't currently felt a little nauseous, she might have laughed at the absurdity.

Kate spotted the first picture hanging on the wall in the hallway, it was Caroline's recent graduation photo, wearing her cap and gown. Kate stood before it and beamed at it, before nudging Caroline in the side with her elbow.

"Stern but sexy." Kate teased and saw Caroline's blush appear. "Awww, they must be so proud of you."

"Caroline!?" Her mothers voice floated through from the kitchen and a moment later Celia was in the doorway.

Kate was standing so close to Caroline that the blonde imagined she could feel the heat radiating from her body, this didn't help with the nausea.

"Hi mum." Caroline began. "I just brought Kate over for a cup of tea, hope that's alright?" She said in faux cheer.

"I take it this is the girl you have been knocking about with for the last three weeks, is it?" Celia asked, looking Kate up and down quite obviously.

"Yes, this is Kate." Caroline replied calmly.

Kate moved forward and offered a hand out to Celia. "Nice to meet you Mrs Dawson." She said with a friendly smile.

Celia seemed to inspect the outstretched hand first and then accepted it dutifully albeit briefly. "Kate." She said warily, moving back into the kitchen with the girls following behind her.

Caroline indicated for Kate to sit at the table as she filled up the kettle and Celia sat in the chair directly opposite, her expression cool.

Kate smiled pleasantly, despite the creeping feel of unease.

"So, Kate." Celia began. "What is it that you do with yourself?"

"Oh I study too, I'm doing languages at York, just finished my first year so I have a way to go yet."Kate grinned.

Celia nodded. "You're only home for the summer then, like Caroline?"

"Yes." Kate confirmed.

"Well, York is a sight closer to home than Oxford so I imagine you get to see more of your family than we get so see of Caroline. Soooo.. perhaps your mother isn't so anxious to spend time with you." Celia said as Caroline finished making the tea and plonked the biscuit tin in the middle of the table, in part as a distraction, which Celia ignored.

Kate glanced up at Caroline's scowling face. "I suppose I have been monopolising Caroline's time a little, for the last few weeks."

"I have hardly seen her." Celia accused.

"Mum." Caroline said quietly. "That's hardly Kate's fault."

"Well who's fault is it then? Is there someone else you have been spending every waking minute with?" Celia asked seriously.

Caroline placed the mugs on the table and sat in the seat between her mum and her friend, wrapping her hands tightly around her own mug.

"That's okay Mrs Dawson, I understand. That's some of the reason we came back here tonight. I mean if we spent more time around here instead of on our travels, you'd see more of each other wouldn't you?" Kate reasoned.

"That wasn't quite what I had in ..." Celia trailed off as Kate rose from her seat.

"I think Caroline was just about to show me her room, weren't you Caroline?" Kate asked.

"Yes, that was ...just what I was about to do..." Caroline said, standing quickly, trying to keep the grin from her face and following Kate out of the room to the stairs.

Celia heard a giggle in the hallway and the sound filled her with fear. It was Caroline's giggle. She hadn't heard that sound in, she didn't know how long.

Xxxxx

"I thought you said you were good with parents? That was awful!" Caroline said, still giggling as they entered her room and she shut the door carefully behind her.

Kate stopped just inside the room and took it all in quickly. "Jesus Caroline, I wasn't expecting posters of your teenage crush but this place looks like no one lives here." Kate observed.

"Well, no one does really. All my stuff is in Oxford." Caroline reminded.

"I suppose you have been there a lot longer...but...if my mum tried to move out any of my belongings I would'nt be happy. Everything is still as I had it when I lived there." Kate said. "It will probably stay that way for a while yet, and it's not as if your mum doesn't already have enough space for a guest room beside this one."

Kate spotted the record player and putting her tea down she sat herself cross legged in front of it.

"This is great though!" Kate said as she thumbed through the pile of records set beside it.

"It's my Dads." Caroline admitted, as Kate slid a record from it's jacket and set it on the turntable.

Caroline sat on the end of her bed, now she really did feel like a teenager, hiding in her bedroom. For a moment she wondered how different things would be if she had met Kate in Oxford, would she even have had chance to notice her there?

Caroline recognised the music that Kate had selected as an old Motown LP of her dads, she hadn't heard it for years but she had a memory of her dad playing it when she was very young.

"Your Dad isn't home tonight then?" Kate asked innocently enough.

"He works long hours... He isn't around much if he can help it." Caroline said, wondering why she was telling Kate this. "They don't really get on, at all...I'm not sure if they ever have?"

Kate frowned. "That must be fun." She commented sarcastically. "Why don't they get on?"

Caroline shrugged. "Who knows. I try and stay out of it. I didn't realise how bad it was until I moved away, it always seemed just...normal. Then the first summer home, as soon as I got back it was like...walking into something ...oppressive...some atmosphere, it's not even in what they say, it's in all the things they never say, in the looks, the sniping. It's exhausting."

Kate sat at the head of the bed, propping up Caroline's pillow and leaning against the headboard waiting from more if Caroline was willing to give it.

"I wonder if they are like I was...they have been living with it for so long they don't even realise how dreadful it is." Caroline said, then seemed to register that she was thinking aloud and that Kate was getting comfortable on her bed.

"I suppose that explains it..." Kate remarked.

"Explains what?" Caroline asked blankly.

"Why sometimes you look so lonely." Kate sighed.

There was a knock at Caroline's door and her mothers voice sounded from the other side.

"Caroline. Your Dad's back, so you can have the car if you want to run your friend home." Celia called sweetly.

Kate grinned silently, then waited as Caroline called out a thank you and Celia moved away across the landing.

"Do you get the impression she wants to get rid of me?" Kate teased with a straight face.

"I'm so sorry." Caroline apologised, although she almost felt grateful to her mother for interrupting, she could'nt allow herself to get too relaxed, especially not here.

"Don't worry about it Caroline. I can handle your mother." Kate said, slipping from her place at the head of the bed so that she was sat beside Caroline, their arms touching slightly. "Do you think she really just... doesn't like my stealing you away from her or is there more to it?" She asked suspiciously.

Caroline really wanted to assure Kate that it was as simple as that and she couldn't fully explain otherwise, right at this moment, but she knew there was a lot more to it. She was ceratin that if she had brought a man home, her mother would have been much more hospitable. No matter that they hadn't mentioned it for over three years, never referred to it, not so much as skirted around it, Caroline knew that it was as fresh in her Mother's mind as it was hers, the summer that she had come home and confided her feelings about women. Caroline had pushed those feelings so far down within herself that she was certain they had gone forever until the moment she saw Kate.

Still it wasn't like that with Kate, no matter how Caroline felt about her, she was safe, she could spend time with her and nothing could come of it, in three weeks time she would be back in Oxford and Kate would be in York and soon enough the younger woman would have forgotten all about Caroline.

"Come on." Kate said placing her hand in hers and tugging her up off the bed. "Best not to upset your mum too much on my first visit." Kate announced.

"Does that mean you'll be coming back?" Caroline asked, not meaning to sound so hopeful.

Kate just tossed her a look over her shoulder, a smile that made Caroline tremble.

XXxx

As they got into the car a sickeningly sweet smell hit Caroline in the face, her nose crinkled distastefully.

"What is that smell!?" Caroline said loudly.

Kate's eyebrows rose as she clipped in her seatbelt. "If I'm not mistaken...I'd say a very cheap perfume, not what I would have guessed for your Mother!" Kate joked.

Caroline frowned. "Mum hasn't been in the car." She said quickly, sniffing at the air again. "And you're right, she wouldn't wear ...that."

Kate's lips made a narrow line and she looked out of the window, away from Caroline's confused gaze.

As Caroline started the car she shook her head at the possibilities that had just skipped through her mind.

"I suppose he must have given his secretary a lift home or something." She dismissed.

Kate's nod was silent and not at all an expression of agreement.

Xxx

_**A/N- Thanks for reading. More **_


	6. Chapter 6

Another time perhaps?6

_A/N- This first scene should really have been on the end of the last chapter and if I ever get around to editing this, that's where it will go but for now you will just have to bare with me, I think it should still be included. Thank you._

Caroline came in to the kitchen and grabbed herself a glass of water, Celia sat as ever at the table with a magazine in front of her, her glasses sliding down her nose. Caroline kept her back to her Mother as she heard her speak, she had been winding herself up, the entire journey home and was scared of what she would say if she spoke now.

"She seems a bit young...Kate." Celia commented.

"I suppose I find it quite refreshing." Caroline said simply, finally turning to look her mother in the eye. "You didn't have to make it quite so obvious that you didn't like her." Caroline said pointedly.

"I never said I didn't like her, I've only said two words to the girl." Celia defended.

"It was rude and unjustified and it won't stop me spending time with her, if she still wants to after that." Caroline's words were calm but her gaze was piercing, determined.

"Caroline." Celia sighed defeated. "You go back to Oxford in a few weeks and who knows when I'll see you again..."

"Oh Mother, It's Oxford not Australia, let's not pretend that's what this is really about." Caroline snapped.

Celia sprang out of her seat. "I'm going to bed if you're going to go on like this." She said hurrying out of the room.

"Yes, that's right. Run away." Caroline said to the empty room.

xxx

"So you are going to finally come out with me?" Kate checked.

"We go out together all the time." Caroline stated.

"I mean..._out_, out. Properly out. For drinking and then to a club, maybe some dancing." Kate did a little spin in the street and nearly fell off the curb, she was obviously feeling a little excitable.

"Yes, I'm going to be brave. I''ve decided to come and see what I'm missing. What's the worst that could happen? No don't answer that...I don't think I want to know." Caroline said, catching on to some of Kate's excitement.

Kate rolled her eye's "It'll be great. We can get ready at your's, theres more room, I'll bring round a bottle of wine, then we can get a taxi in."

Caroline wondered what she was letting herself in for, but it was already worth it to see how giddy Kate was getting. Caroline felt she owed it to Kate after what the poor young women was willing to put up with from her mother and perhaps a night out would be good for her.

"We can go for a couple just the two of us and then we'll meet up with the others at Betty Blues, they always have live music on a Friday night. It'll be great, it'll be a laugh." Kate took Caroline's hand. "I can show you off to my mates." Kate grinned.

Caroline frowned. The idea that she was someone Kate would want to "show off" or would be proud to be seen with was more than a little surprising and she wondered, not for the first time what Kate saw in her, but decided just to be glad that she saw something.

"What the hell am I going to wear?" Caroline said suddenly, her little bubble of excitement going pop.

Xxxx

"Caroline, you've met Mickey and Al." Kate said as she dragged Caroline behind her to the high table that her friends had lined up around waiting for Kate's arrival. "This is Jules, Anna and Frankie." Kate announced happily. "Everyone, this is my mate Caroline."

The girls that Kate had pointed out as Jules and Anna both raised their hands in a friendly wave and the others nodded and said Hi. Caroline noticed Mickey give her a playful wink that she pretended not to notice.

"Hi everyone." Caroline said, delivering her best fake grin. Luckily the bottle of wine she had shared with Kate before they came out and the two drinks she had necked in the small bar around the corner had gone a long way to making her feel less self conscious in what would usually be a nightmare scenario for her.

Caroline feared she had consumed most of the wine while they were getting ready so that she could deal with the sight of Kate changing her top in front of her more than once and then wearing the top she had originally selected anyway. Kate had her hair up high and at one point Caroline realised that her eyes had become fixated on the nape of her neck and her bare shoulders. Kate had flashed her a smile in the mirror and Caroline had almost choked on her own foolishness right there.

Kate turned to Caroline now, still holding her hand. "I'm going to go to the bar, you want the same again?" She asked.

Caroline nodded and Kate gave her hand a squeeze before leaving to weave her way through the throng of people, Caroline tried not to watch her go for any longer than would be deemed normal and then she moved a little closer to the high table, designed for barstools and smiled nervously at Kate's friends.

"You been here before?" Jules called across the table, tossing Caroline a line.

"No, never. " Caroline replied shaking her head. "It seems alright." She offered.

Jules was nodding. "Band come on at 9pm, it really livens up then, and upstairs they have a dance floor, it get's a bit packed down here."

Caroline gave the room a more thorough viewing, she noticed that there seemed to be a pretty mixed bunch of people. When she had been out in Oxford it had usually been to bars that catered mainly for students, but here there was a mix of age ranges, some couples who seemed to be closer to her parents in age than to her and for a moment she tried to picture them here but couldn't quite manage it. It would be far too loud for her Mother and nowhere to sit, she wouldn't have put up with that.

Caroline glanced at her watch, it was after eight thirty and once the band came on she probably wouldn't be expected to talk at all, she could do this.

"So are you a student? Kate didn't say." Caroline asked Jules.

"God no. I didn't like school much so I was glad to get away. I work in a fashion store in town. I get a discount on the clothes and we have a giggle, me and the girls that work there." Jules pulled out a pack of menthol cigarettes and slipped one out before pointing the pack in Caroline's direction.

"No, thanks." Caroline said putting up a hand and trying not to look totally disgusted.

As Jules lit her cigarette Caroline's eye searched for Kate at the bar. She spotted her, leaning over it trying to get the barmaids attention as a young man slipped in beside her, putting his hand to her back and speaking close to her ear, Caroline noticed Kate move slightly away from his touch but turn to him with a friendly smile and say something that made him laugh.

"I've known Kate for years." Jules was saying now as she flicked her ash in the plastic ash tray. "Since we were tots. We went to the same schools, so..." Jules added.

"That's nice." Caroline remarked. "I don't see much of anyone from school now."

She didn't mention that she was delighted that she didn't. That was the thing that she hated most about being home, the threat that she might be happily buying some pajama's in Mark's and she could suddenly find some girl who hated her at school grinning stupidly and asking if she was Caroline Dawson. She was always tempted to say she had no idea who they were talking about but she would always remain polite and show the expected amount of interest in who they were getting married to or where abouts in Harrogate they were living and working now.

Kate returned to the table with the drinks and winked at Caroline in much the same way that Mickey had only a moment ago but somehow the reaction in Caroline was very different and she quickly accepted her drink, for something to do.

For the next few minutes Caroline mostly listened to the chatter of the good friends, occasionally being called on to answer a polite question about herself from one of Kate's well meaning friends, but generally remaining quiet. Kate was in her element, joking with the boys and gossiping with the girls.

"Jules always fancies the lead singer of the band...doesn't really matter what he looks like..." She told Caroline loudly and Jules gave her an outraged glare. "What..you do!" Kate exclaimed.

When the band came out a moment later and one of the young men with a slick mop of dark hair moved to the front and picked up the mic, Jules turned to Caroline and Kate and made a face.

"Phwooarr!" She said enthusiastically, causing Caroline and Kate to collapse against each other in laughter.

About half way through the set Kate turned to Caroline and said something that the blonde couldn't quite make out, she shook her head looking blankly.

"Can't hear you!" She called, pointing to her ear.

Kate took Caroline's hand in hers and called something to Jules, who nodded, not taking her eyes off the band.

Kate led Caroline away from the table and over to the wooden staircase, then up to the next floor where the music changed from the heavy thudding of the live band to a more poppy beat that was almost as loud. Kate paused as they got onto the small landing just before pushing her way through the doors.

"Are you having a good time?" She wanted to know.

"Yeah." Admitted Caroline. "Better than expected."

Kate laughed, knowing that Caroline hadn't meant that to come off as insulting. "Come on then."

Kate pulled Caroline into the room, it was darker than downstairs and Caroline was surprised by the presence of a smoke machine in the corner by the DJ booth. Caroline suspected that most people were still downstairs watching the band but plenty of couples stood swaying on the dance floor to the dulcet tones of Annie Lennox.

Kate pulled them through the room to a corner bar which was much smaller than the one downstairs and she turned, resting her back against it and watching the dance floor, Caroline standing beside her. The next song started up and Kate turned to Caroline.

"Do you want to dance?" She asked, looking hopeful.

Caroline knew this one, she had heard it on the radio a few times and thought it quite catchy, humming along to it. _Don't get me wrong - The Pretenders. _Caroline shrugged, she wasn't a great dancer, she always felt too aware of herself, but it felt quite relaxed in here, everyone too interested in their own groups and in having a good time to be bothering judging her.

Kate had already taken a couple of steps away from her, on to the dance floor and had begun swaying her hips around hypnotically, in time to the music, her feet hopping around a little as she moved her arms into the air like a snake being charmed. She made a goofy face at Caroline and the blonde couldn't resist, giggling into her hand she moved toward Kate mimicking some of her less outlandish dance moves.

_Don't get me wrong_

_If I'm acting so distracted_

_I'm thinking about the fireworks_

_That go off when you smile_

Kate span around, bumping against Caroline as she slowed, Caroline putting her hands out instinctively to steady her friend. Kate took Caroline's hand and continued to dance around her energetically as Caroline swayed, trying to keep up with the younger woman.

_Once in a while_

_Two people meet_

_Seemingly for no reason_

_They just pass on the street_

_Suddenly thunder, showers everywhere_

_Who can explain, the thunder and rain_

_But there's something in the air._

Kate was singing along to the lyrics now and twisting around, wearing a semi serious look on her face. Caroline couldn't help but think how adorable she looked and she spent the end of the song hardly moving, content to watch Kate twirl and prance.

As the song finished and Kate realised that she was being watched she grinned sheepishly.

"I get a bit carried away!" She offered.

Caroline grinned stupidly at her and Kate suddenly seized her hand dragging her off the dance floor. Caroline was about to ask where they were headed, quite disappointed at being dragged away from Kate's one woman show and then she spotted the sign for the toilets just ahead of them.

Kate pulled them into the brightly lit bathroom and headed for the stall at the far end of the row of three, bringing Caroline along with her and pulling her into the cubicle. Kate closed the door and pushed Caroline back against it, looking her in the eye.

For a moment Caroline thought she had done something wrong for Kate to be so abrupt, even angry, but then she saw something else in her eyes and before it happened she knew what and she wanted it.

Kate covered Caroline's lips with her own hot ones and kissed her soundly, pulling away for only a moment to search Caroline's expression before leaning back in for more, softer now but more probing. Caroline kissed her back this time, pushing away from the door and wrapping her arms around Kate, one around her waist and one higher up reaching it's way up over her back, feeling as much of her as she could.

Kate put both her arms around Caroline's neck now and then broke away a little so she could place her lips against Caroline's throat, trying to catch her breath. She could hear both their ragged breathing mix together, both hearts thudding loudly, like the music from outside.

Caroline suddenly stiffened in Kate's arms and pulled her own arms back, out of their embrace.

"Caroline?" Kate asked uncertainly.

Caroline's face was startled, like she had just woken and found herself somewhere unexpected. She stared at Kate for a moment then looked away, backing up to the toilet door again and reaching behind her for the handle, which she gripped onto.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled before she turned and bolted.

Xxxx

**A/N- The song lyrics in this chapter are taken from **_**Don't get me wrong by The Pretenders. **_**They don't belong to me. If you don't know the song you should check it out, it's cool, fun and romantic. Thanks for reading. xx**


	7. Chapter 7

Another time perhaps? 7

Celia opened the door to find Kate on the doorstep.

"You again?" She greeted. "She still isn't in. I'm not lying for her...If you two have had a falling out.."

"We haven't." Kate said quickly, folding her arms defensively. "It's nothing like that, I just wanted to talk to her about something."

"Well if you don't know where she is, I'm sure I don't. She is entitled to time on her own you know?" Celia pointed out bluntly.

Kate's face creased into a frown. "I know that. Could you just tell her I called...please."

Celia sighed, still with one hand on the door to signal that she didn't intend to keep it open for long.. "I said I would."

Kate lingered on the doorstep and Celia looked up to see her daughter coming down the drive toward them, staring into space.

"Well, you can tell her yourself now by the looks of it." Celia said moving back inside the house and leaving the door ajar.

Kate turned, relief and nerves hitting her at the same time. "Caroline!"

Caroline smiled slightly but didn't say anything.

"I've been looking everywhere for you." Kate said. "I went to the library, spoke to that librarian that hates me." Kate moaned.

"She doesn't hate you." Caroline said with a more genuine grin. "She just thinks you're loud."

"There's never anyone in there but you...I'm sure the books don't mind." Kate joked with a shrug. "Where have you been all day?" she asked anxiously.

Caroline sighed. "I wasn't avoiding you...well not completely, I had something I had to do."

Kate nodded with a sad smile, obviously not fully believing her.

"Do you want to come in?" Caroline asked. "We can talk?"

"Yeah, we should." Kate agreed.

Caroline led Kate into the sitting room and closed the door after them, Kate sat down on the couch and Caroline took the armchair nearest to her.

"Last night..." Kate began.

"I shouldn't have run off like that... It was...stupid..." Caroline said quickly.

"It's...alright...I did come after you but I couldn't find you then either..." Kate told her.

"I jumped in a cab...I was...we were both drunk...I don't usually drink that much." Caroline explained. "But I'm sorry I just ran out on you like that...I didn't mean to make you worry."

"You're not cross with me?" Kate asked meekly.

"No. I'm sorry Kate, it was probably my fault really." Caroline confessed miserably.

"What do you mean?" Kate asked in puzzlement.

"You were probably picking up on my feelings, inappropriate feelings and I shouldn't have let it get out of hand like that..." Caroline explained, not able to look at Kate.

"Wait a minute...let me see if I've got this right?.My kissing you was your fault because you have feelings for me?" Kate checked.

Caroline looked crippled with guilt and shot a glance to the closed door. "Well, yes."

"You think you're the only one with feelings Caroline? What has this whole thing been about then?" Kate said gently with a hint of pleading.

"You've been a really good friend to me..." Caroline began.

"And you don't think I've fancied you since the second I saw you...in your heels and your tight skirt, looking at Mickey like he was something you trod in?" Kate interrupted impatiently.

"I...I didn't think...You did?" Caroline asked uncertainly, her cheeks burning.

"I did...I do." Kate corrected. "And I kissed you because I wanted to, I have wanted to since that night and I just couldn't _not_ do it...any longer. I'm sorry it made you feel like you'd done something wrong but I'm_ not_ sorry I did it. " Kate said definitely.

Caroline looked at the hem of her skirt and pulled at the edge with her fingers, tugging the material down to her knees.

"Today... I spent the day...at the place where my Father works." She said next. "Well outside it. I went to spy on him." She laughed bitterly at herself. "I sat there for hours, watching people come in and out of the building, I don't know what I was expecting to see. Then he came out at lunch time, a group of them, men, a few women. He was laughing, he looked happy, like I don't remember seeing him. They were just heading for a pub lunch. I remember he told me once that if he worked on a Saturday he always had pub lunch. Like it was a real treat." Caroline smiled miserably. "I was thinking... Did she make him miserable? Mum...she couldn't have always done...So did he stop making her happy first...or the other way around? I don't know."

"You should talk to her about it Caroline, or maybe him?" Kate suggested, a little thrown by the direction the conversation had taken.

"Maybe if she was happy, she could be happy for me?" Caroline said, looking at Kate as if for an answer.

"Maybe." Kate said, stopping herself from reaching out to her friend. "It seems like you have got a lot to think about." Kate said, standing up. "I'm just making you more confused being here."

Caroline stood too, they each stood, silently.

"If you need me..." Kate offered.

Caroline nodded and shyly took Kate's hand for a brief squeeze before she left.

xxxxx

"Just the two of us for dinner." Celia said happily. "I made a cheese and onion pie."

Caroline threw the fresh table cloth over the table and opened the cutlery drawer.

As they each sat and Caroline picked up her knife and fork she watched her mother, at this moment in time she felt as much of a stranger as she ever had.

"Did you ever love him?" Caroline asked as she cut into her pie.

"Who? Your Dad? I suppose. He was good looking. He was clever...he had prospects." Celia said casually, tucking in to her own dinner.

"So what changed...what made you hate him?" Caroline asked plainly.

Celia frowned sharply now as she chewed and swallowed, looking suspicious now.

"Things don't always work out the way you think they will, people change." Celia shrugged off the questioning gaze of her daughter.

"That's it? Nothing specific? You just grew apart?" Caroline said unconvinced.

"Eat your dinner, it'll go cold." Celia instructed.

"You never thought with all the time he spends at work...you never thought he might be...going else where? Playing away from home? Dibbing his nib in the office..."

"Caroline!" Celia said. "You don't have to be so vulgar!" She said, stabbing at her food viciously. "What have folk been saying? Laughing behind my back...there are them around here who'd love to see me take a fall...I can tell you. You think I don't see them whispering." Celia was becoming more and more distressed and she let her fork clatter as it fell on to her plate.

Caroline put down her own utensils neatly. "I just wondered how it started." Caroline asked cooly. "Were you always so cold to him? So that he had no choice but to go looking elsewhere?"

"How dare you!" Celia almost screamed. "How dare you! When all I have done is to protect you and this family. I've never told you half of what he gets up to, I've tried to spare you. Everything he's put me through and now this?!" Celia got up from the table now and began pacing around the kitchen. Picking up her plate and scraping the contents into the bin.

Caroline tried to chew at another fork full of her dinner but it caught heavy like a lump of wood in her throat as she swallowed. "I'm sorry."

Xxxx

Celia went to bed early and as it got dark Caroline started to play out in her head, the many possibilities of where her Father could be, is this what her mother had been through countless nights, wondering if he was in an accident or boozing with his pals or was he with another woman? Did he have just one woman, someone he loved or who loved him? Or was it a matter or a fling here and a fling there?

Caroline took some books into the front room and sat at the large dining table looking out through the long bay windows to the street beyond. She left the blinds open so she could watch for her Dad's return. They only ever used this room when they had people around for dinner and Caroline couldn't remember the last time that had happened.

Around an hour after her mum had gone to bed Caroline heard the familiar drumming of rain start up from nowhere, she found the sound quite comforting and she looked up from her books and removed her glasses to watch. She thought she caught sight of a figure outside and she stood up just in time to see her pass by the window. Caroline dashed to the door and called out into the street.

"Kate!" Caroline saw the figure pause but for a moment she thought she had been mistaken, wishful thinking and that whoever it was would keep on walking. Then she turned and Caroline saw her race back.

"Caroline!" Kate said. "Are you crazy? Get back inside it's chucking it down."

Caroline didn't move. "I thought I saw you...I did see you, what are you doing!?"

Kate took Caroline's arm now and led her back to the doorstep where she stepped just inside to shelter from the rain, the light from the house illuminating her now and Caroline catching sight of the wet tracks running down her face from her hair and dripping from the ends.

"I haven't been home." Kate admitted gingerly. "I walked around for a while and then ...somehow I ended up back here. I wasn't coming to see you. I just wanted to ...know that you were okay?! And then it started pissing it down..." Kate shrugged uncertainly.

Caroline pulled the front door quietly closed. "Come in and get dry." She said.

Caroline moved to the airing cupboard under the stairs and pulled out a fat fluffy towel. Kate was standing awkwardly in the hallway not wanting to move in case she dripped onto things. Caroline came back to her and began to peel the wet shoulder of Kate's jacket away from her, Kate shrugging out of the other side. Caroline's fingers lingered on the now exposed skin of Kate's shoulder and as the jacket slid down Kate's body Caroline took it up and turned to spread it along the hall radiator.

Neither woman spoke, which seemed to amplify the sound of each breath as Caroline shook out the towel and hung it across Kate's shoulders like a cape, she took one corner of the towel pressed it Kate's face, wiping away the wetness gently.

"You...got a little wet too." Kate said now, stepping as close to Caroline as she could get and asking for permission with her eyes, the smallest of smiles and she touched the other end of the towel to Caroline's cheek, to capture the smallest speck of moisture there. Kate quickly dropped the towel and let her fingers replace it, stroking her thumb from Caroline's cheek bone down to the corner of her mouth.

Caroline closed her eyes and her breath left her body in a shudder.

"I can't." She said clearly, even as she leant her face into Kate's palm. Kate moved away.

"Okay." Kate said, nodding. "I should go." Kate turned and picked up her coat.

Caroline put a hand firmly on the coat to prevent Kate removing it. "No." She said. "Don't go."

"It wasn't fair of me to come here tonight." Kate said. "It's okay, I'll wait."

"Stay." Caroline said. "Please. You can't go out there in this." She could still hear the sound of the rain now as it hammered at the letterbox like someone trying to get in. "You can ring home, please stay." Caroline held out a hand but stopped short of taking Kate's, waiting for her answer.

"Okay." Kate nodded and put her hand firmly into Caroline's who led them both quietly up the stairs to her room.

Xxxx

_A/N- Thanks for reading. Feedback is always welcome xx_


	8. Chapter 8

Another time perhaps? 8

"Get out!" Celia ordered loudly, her hand still gripping the door knob to Caroline's room, which she had just flung open. "Get out at once!"

Kate was awake, but just, her eyes opened wide now. She could feel Caroline's body curled up warmly against her back, one arm fit along her middle, fixing them together, her breath warming Kate's neck.

Caroline stiffened now and slowly sat up in bed, taking some of the covers with her and revealing some of Kate, who was wearing Caroline's pajama's.

"Mother, you can't come in here like this!" Caroline warned as calmly as she could manage.

"I can do what I like in my own house and I can tell you that this kind of thing will never happen under my roof again, not as long as I can still draw breath! Thank god that your Father isn't up yet." Celia ranted in a hushed voice, clutching at her chest as if feeling physical pain.

Celia had come downstairs early to prepare breakfast for the house and as she descended she could see a jacket on the radiator in the hallway, she didn't recognise it as Caroline's but she had the funny feeling that she had seen it before, very recently, and then it hit her and she turned at the foot of the stairs and made her way back up, she knew what she'd find before she found it.

"Get up, get dressed and get out!" Celia said pointing at Kate, who sat up now too, her legs dangling over the edge of the bed.

"How dare you speak to Kate like that Mum. I don't know what you assume happened here last night but you are dead wrong." Caroline said with some determination.

Kate flinched and looked at her feet on the beige carpet.

"Really? Do you think I was born yesterday? What are the two of you doing snuggled up in bed together then?" Celia asked, one hand on her hip.

"Kate came over last night, we talked and we slept, it was raining all night I couldn't have sent her home in that. It was all perfectly innocent." Caroline explained indignantly.

Kate couldn't move, she couldn't look Celia in the eye and she couldn't bare to look at Caroline.

Celia was quiet for a moment, considering. "Both of you get dressed and get downstairs and we'll say no more about it now." She said leaving the room with a long look of disgust at the pair of them as she went.

"Shit." Caroline said, rubbing at her forehead with her hand as Kate got up and collected her clothes silently, turning her back on Caroline as she quickly changed, trying not to let the blonde in on the fact that she was crying, until one small sniffle escaped her as she slipped her top over her head.

Caroline was out of the bed and reaching for Kate a second later, turning the dark girl to face her. "Kate! I'm sorry! Don't cry!"

Kate scrubbed at the corners of both eyes with her hands, shaking her head, frustrated with herself for getting this upset.

"She's hardcore your mum isn't she?" Kate said with another sniffle. "Did you tell her something? About me? About the other night?"

"No, it's not that, it's not you...I'm sorry she upset you." Caroline offered, her own hands still shaking.

"It wasn't her." Kate said. "I mean...it was her a little...but I expect that from her...from people like her"

Caroline looked questioningly at Kate.

"It was the way _you_ acted...as if the idea of anything between us was as utterly reprehensible to you as it obviously is to her." Kate snapped shortly.

"But...we didn't do anything, what did you want me to say?" Caroline argued.

Even as she said it she knew she was wrong. Kate was right, they may not have had sex last night but something special and significant had happened between them as they had lain in one-another's arms and Caroline's denial of that was hurtful to them both.

"I'm going home." Kate told Caroline now and there was something final in her tone that had Caroline rooted to the spot as she watched Kate turn her back and walk out.

Xxxxx

"Caroline, I thought you'd left all this foolish business behind you. You haven't mentioned it since..." Celia was clattering the tea things around and opening the fridge.

"I haven't mentioned it now...you're the one jumping to conclusions." Caroline said from her place at the table.

"I have seen the way you look at her, even worse the way she looks at you. I don't want her staying here again. It's only a matter of time before folk start talking. The people around here are not like your University pals, they're not forward thinking, anything goes!...oh he's eccentric! Like it's a good thing to be different. This is Yorkshire. They think you're odd enough going to Oxford instead of up and getting wed." Celia continued.

"Mum...We aren't doing anything wrong, why should I care what people around here think?" Caroline said with more conviction than she felt.

"And what happens when you go back to Oxford? She goes back to York. Nothing can come of it, but mud sticks, once you've got a name for yourself they don't let you forget it..." Celia warned.

"And what name would that be?" Caroline bit her bottom lip.

Celia almost spoke, but swallowed her words.

"Here's your Father." Celia said as she heard steps on the staircase, almost jumping to the other side of the kitchen. "Whatever you do, don't mention it to him, I beg you."

Caroline sighed. More pretending. More not saying, not asking, not telling.

Kenneth came into the kitchen in his dressing gown. Sunday was the only day he was permitted downstairs in this state of undress. He stretched and yawned loudly.

"Tea?" He mumbled.

"I'm doing a pot now." Celia said, her back to him.

As he turned to leave, taking up his usual spot in the sitting room where he would expect armchair service, Caroline called out to him.

"Was work alright?" She asked.

He nodded. "Yeah, not bad, busy enough." Slightly surprised by the striking up of conversation he paused with the kitchen door still in his hand.

Caroline nodded, considering what to say next.

"You out with your mate again today?" He asked. "Kate is it?"

Caroline was surprised he'd remembered. "Yes, it's Kate."

"Pretty little thing." Her Dad commented. "Seems nice."

"She is." Caroline agreed. "I'm not sure what I'm up to yet...today, no plans."

Kenneth nodded with another yawn. "Bacon Celia?" He asked.

"Yes." She said. "Ten minutes."

He left now and a moment later Celia had sausages and bacon on and was sticking toast into the toaster.

"So, you and your Dad are chums now are you? Well happen he wouldn't be so friendly if he knew what funny ideas you've been getting?" Celia busied herself, falling silent.

Xxxx

Caroline knocked at the front door and as she took a step back she saw the net curtains in the main window momentarily flung back to reveal a teenage girl, she resembled a younger Kate only with slightly darker skin and eyes and her hair was very long and set into neat braids with colorful beads in the ends.. The young girl looked disappointed at finding Caroline out as the visitor and she vanished, disinterested, she didn't appear to have any intention of answering the door and Caroline stood for another minute wondering whether she should knock again or just give up.

Then the door opened and a young man of Caroline's own age but considerably taller opened the door. He was wearing a suit and tie with shiny black shoes and he smiled kindly at her.

"Hello. I was hoping to speak with Kate." Caroline informed him, shifting the handbag she wore on her shoulder like a shield.

"You must be Caroline." He stated as he loosened his striped tie. "We just got home from church." He said as Caroline glanced at his neck wear. "Come in." He invited, stepping aside. "I'm Leon, Kate's handsome older brother." He grinned. "I'll go and get Kate, she can't hear when she's playing."

Caroline stepped inside the house and as she did she could hear more clearly the sound of someone playing the piano somewhere within the house, the sound was competing with the loud blaring of the television coming from the room where Caroline had just seen the teenage girl.

Caroline was left in the hallway as Kate's brother went to fetch her. She heard the playing cut off abruptly and she glanced around the hallway. It was littered with photographs, there were framed versions of school portraits starring three young children, always with the young Kate positioned in the middle. One with Kate wearing pigtails that particularly made Caroline smile and one of her stood with an arm around each sibling, all three sticking their tongues out at the camera.

A large cabinet with glass doors took up most of the hallway and contained various ornaments, more picture frames and a couple of sports trophies. It was like looking through a window into the past of this family's life and Caroline absorbed it all with fascination.

She thought she could hear the sound of womens voices coming from a room along the hall, which Caroline assumed must be the kitchen and she began to feel she may be intruding, there seemed to be so much going on here.

The teenage girl emerged from the room to Caroline's left, looked her up and down and suddenly shouted into the house. "Kaaaaaaate!" at the top of her lungs, before moving down the hall to another room without a word to Caroline.

Kate appeared at the end of the hall and as she passed her sister she gave her a small shove with her hip. The girl turned to glare at Kate's back, muttered something and was gone. Kate had obviously been to Church with her family, she was wearing a Laura Ashley style, floral dress in the place of her trademark stonewash jeans.

"Hi." Kate said cooly as she reached Caroline. "You wanted to speak with me?" She looked expectant.

Caroline looked around her again, feeling very firmly that she was in Kate's territory. "I just wanted to see how you were." Caroline offered, hearing and hating the pathetic tone of her voice. "I didn't know you played?"

"There's a million and one things you don't know about me, Caroline..."

Kate sighed, slipped her jacket from it's place hanging on the banister and put it on, without a word she stepped past Caroline and opened the front door, she sat on the low wall at the bottom of the steps and waited for Caroline to join her. Caroline didn't sit, she leaned awkwardly against the too low brick wall.

"I _am_ sorry about this morning." Caroline began.

Kate looked away and tried to shrug. "I'm guessing that it's something between you and you're mum really, not anything to do with me."

Caroline winced, she ignored the unasked question. "I'm going back to Oxford in a fortnight. You are going back to York soon."

Kate shrugged. "So?"

Caroline put her hand in her pocket to keep from reaching out to Kate. "So, It doesn't seem wise to cause ourselves a lot of trouble for something that...isn't going anywhere."

Kate slipped off the wall. "I understand." Kate nodded. "It's not worth the trouble." Kate turned to head back inside.

"Kate, I didn't mean..." Caroline called, she wished she could take it all back, that she could go back to last night when she had reached out for Kate and thought that she'd never let her go. "I mean...well... what would _your _family think? What would they do, if people started saying things?"

"I don't know Caroline, I don't know how they might react, it's not really anyone else's business. But they're my family, they'd love me no matter what...I suppose...they might have something to say about it but, they'd just have to deal with it. That's what family does." Kate shrugged, her arms folded across her chest.

"Your family maybe." Caroline allowed quietly.

Kate paused finally taking pity on her friend. "It wouldn't stop me, if I wanted something enough, I wouldn't care much what anyone thought or how far away they happened to live... maybe I am being nieve..."

"No, I mean...I'm glad you feel that way...it's brave, it's admirable...It's just...its not me." Caroline admitted.

"I'm going back inside." Kate told her, slowly mounting the steps and turning at the top. "It doesn't matter now but...It's a shame... I would have done absolutely anything for you." Kate admitted regretfully. "I'll see you around, maybe."

Caroline watched her go, feeling they're should be more she could say but not knowing what it was.

Xxxx

_A/N- I slipped in a couple of lines from the show here which I am sure will not have gone unnoticed. Thank you for all the feedback. More soon. x_


	9. Chapter 9

Another time perhaps? 9

Caroline made herself comfortable in the sitting room, her Dad was at work so she was free to watch something on the television, desperate to find anything to distract her. It had been three days since she had last seen Kate. Three days, three nights, four trips past Kate's favourite pub, three hours sitting in the park hoping for a glimpse of her and several hours spent watching the door in the library hoping to see the familiar face coming in to rescue her.

Kate hadn't been in touch and it wasn't as if Caroline could go and see her, nothing had changed, no matter that Caroline found it hard to sleep at night from her wishing for something else. Caroline found the news headlines again and watched as images of the Gulf War and its long years of devastation played in the background while the news reader announced the signing of a ceasefire. Caroline flicked again through the four channels hoping for something else to watch but had to succumb to the soaps. Coronation Street was just starting and she guessed her mother would be sat in the kitchen watching the same show on her small portable.

Celia brought in another cup of tea when the commercial break began and this time she sat at the other end of the couch to Caroline and looked for a moment at the T.V screen and then around the room as if she hadn't really looked at it for a while.

"Those curtains could do with changing, I never liked them I don't know why I bought them." Celia commented. "Do you fancy a shopping trip?" She asked Caroline hopefully.

Caroline frowned. "To pick curtains?"

"Well, we could get you some new bits for going back to Oxford, some clothes or a few little bits for the new flat? There must be something you need?" Celia surmised.

"Not really." Caroline replied.

"Well, how about we go and see your Auntie Muriel?" Celia suggested. "You've not seen Martin and them for ages, not since they came down to see you in Oxford and that was over a year ago."

"I know. I give her a ring and send her a letter once in a while. I thought you hated visiting Auntie Muriel?" Caroline asked suspiciously.

"I never said that! Just that your uncle Franks away with work and I thought she might be in need of the company. We don't have to if you don't fancy it, it was only a suggestion." Celia shrugged, clasping her own cup of tea in both hands.

They sat watching Corrie for a few minutes, a scene where Curly Watts' Dad is inviting him and his girlfriend around for Sunday dinner, which it seems is a big deal as Curly is white and his girlfriend Shirley is black and both families do not approve of their relationship.

Caroline felt a little awkward watching this with her mother and she almost made an excuse and left the room. Celia seemed oblivious enough however and instead Caroline sighed and drank from her own cup.

"We could go out for lunch I suppose." Caroline offered her olive branch. "Tomorrow? We could go to that little cafe facing the co-op."

Celia's face lit up with a smile. "Oh,Yes, I've not been to that place in a while, they do a lovely Eccles Cake. I'd like that."

Caroline nodded. "Okay then." She smiled at the sudden injection of pleasure she had so easily given her mum and then felt guilty for how difficult she had been lately, despite having good reason.

"Oh, I forgot to say!" Celia said suddenly a little urgent. "Your friend telephoned."

Caroline instantly thought of Kate and her heart stopped still in her chest, her face turning pale but hopeful.

"Emma, your pal in Oxford." Celia added.

"Oh." Caroline said quietly.

"Yes, earlier today while you were out. Nice girl." She said fondly. " Anyway, she wanted to let you know that someones been trying to get hold of you down there. A John, she said, he's been leaving messages, she wanted to know if she was to give him your number here? She said to give her a ring back or she'll try you again tomorrow."

Caroline frowned. "John?" She scoured her memory.

"Yes, she didn't think you'd remember, she said he was a friend of a friend, you met him at the end of exams party, he was down visiting his cousin?" Celia prompted.

"John? John? ?..." Caroline looked blank, then a fleeting memory came back to her of someone reciting a poem to her, they had both had a skinful, but he had made her laugh, which was rare. "Ah John, yes I remember." Caroline nodded.

"So, if she calls back do I tell her she can give him this number?" Celia asked, a little smugly.

Caroline shrugged. "Nah, he can wait until I get back, no point giving him this number when I won't even be here in a couple of weeks. There's no rush, I'm sure."

Celia looked a little disappointed. "Well, If your sure."

XX

"What you doing sitting in the dark?"Kenneth said as he stepped sock footed into the sitting room, taking off his jacket and throwing it onto his chair before joining it in a heap.

"Waiting for you." Caroline said calmly, the room had grown dark and was lit now only by the green blue glow from the television.

Kenneth looked carefully at his daughters expression and then groaned lightly. "Well, you better make us both a cuppa then, I need tea if I'm about to be read the riot act."

Caroline got up from the couch and went to the kitchen, going over again all the things that she wanted to say, wanted to know, as she made two cups of strong tea. Seated again she wasn't sure where to start.

"What do you want to know?" Her Dad asked stretching out and filling all of his chair.

Caroline struggled not to feel like a child in his presence, she tried to summon her Oxford self, the confident and capable Caroline.

"Are you happy?" Caroline asked, surprising herself with the question, it wasn't what she'd set out to ask.

"Happy enough." Was the non answer she received.

"With mum." Caroline amended. "You and mum, you don't seem happy together."

Kenneth took a long drink of tea, swallowing loudly into the silence. "I was shocked when your mum went for me. I'd had my eye on her for a while, she was one of them that played hard to get and then all of a sudden there we were, bit of a whirlwind really. Everybody thought it were a good match, her parents, my mam. I was doing well, good education, making summat of me'self, as they say. Then before I knew it, it was done." He shrugged.

Caroline suddenly thought he looked old as he sat and rubbed at his forehead.

"You might not understand this now Caroline, but when you're young and you're starting out, everything seems possible. It seemed possible that we could be quite happy forever, before the everydayness of life kicks in. I don't know what happened first but I realised at some point that your mum was just a bit disappointed with me. I was spending longer out of the house and we gradually grew apart. Then you came along and you seem to be all we have in common these days."

For a moment Caroline thinks she is going to let him get away lightly, with this sugar coated version of events, after all what were the answers she was really hoping for?

"There's more to it than that Dad." She said at last. "I mean where were you tonight? You haven't been at work until this time, the office isn't open this late and you don't look like you've been drinking, well you don't go out drinking with the boys on a week night usually anyway." Caroline reasoned.

"Umm proper Miss Marple." Her Dad scoffed, he was shaking his head with a curious smile as he considered what to say. "Caroline, I work hard, I have always given your mum everything she asked for; holidays, car, house. I have my own ways of gleaning a little bit of happiness from life...a bit of comfort."

"Other women!?" Caroline demanded to know, feeling anger rising like acid in her throat.

"Be careful how you speak to me Caroline, I'm still your Father." He warned.

"It's not right, it's not fair on mum, it's humiliating." Caroline accused.

He nodded. "It is not my intention to humiliate you or Celia, I never do anything to try and hurt anyone, but I've made my choices and I'm the one has to live with them, now if you don't like it...well there's not a great deal you can do."

Caroline glared at him then stood up to leave.

"Your mum has had you all these years Caroline, I didn't, not the same way, so don't go feeling completely sorry for her." He called as Caroline stormed from the room.

Xxxxx

_A/N- Thank you so much for all the reviews and feedback, I hope you keep enjoying it because I love writing this one at the moment._


	10. Chapter 10

Another time perhaps? 10

Caroline had walked past every one of Kate's local haunts and was starting to get cold, she should have put her jacket on before storming out of the house. She pulled the sleeves of her cardigan a little further down over her numb fingers.

It had been three days since she had seen her, so it wasn't that she had forgotten how truly beautiful Kate was but she had forgotten the profound effect that she had on her, she had underestimated what she would feel as she turned the corner moving away from Kate's street and bumped, almost literally, into Kate and her brother Leon.

"Caroline!" Leon greeted. "Were you looking for us?" He smiled, his hands peeking out over his pockets.

Caroline searched Kate's face for any signs of a similar smile and found none. Leon looked curiously at his sister, who remained silent.

"I was just passing..." Caroline offered.

Kate looked unconvinced, as did Leon, only he disguised it more successfully.

"Right, well I'll go ahead and let mum know you'll be a few minutes okay?" Leon said as he left them alone in the lamplit street.

Kate watched her brother walk away and waited for Caroline to say something, after a moments silence she moved past the blonde to leave too.

"Kate, Please!" Caroline called as she span around. "I needed to talk to someone, I needed a friend and I could only think of you..."

Kate paused and sighed heavily at herself as she turned to listen. "What happened?"

"I had a row with my Dad, it was...I asked him what he'd been up to and he basically just admitted to me that he's been having an affair, or more than one...who knows, he didn't even seem ashamed of himself."

"I'm sorry Caroline. I can't say I'm completely surprised though." Kate said, taking a cautious step toward her friend. "Are you going to tell your mum?" Kate asked.

Caroline shook her head. "No. I mean, I think she know's, she must know! He doesn't even bother to hide it well! I don't think he cares. I can't believe it took me so long to see it. I'm such an idiot."

Kate shrugged. "I suppose we don't want to think the worst of the people we love."

"I couldn't talk to mum about it, she wouldn't want me to." Caroline asserted suddenly.

"She might. You could try." Kate suggested.

"No, she has spent all these years putting on a show, she wouldn't want to talk to me about it now." Caroline said certainly.

"You know for someone who claims to be so close to her Mother there is an awful lot that the two of you don't talk about." Kate said, some irritation creeping into her voice.

Caroline supposed that was true, she hadn't met Kate's mum but she could just imagine the two of them sitting down together and sharing secrets instead of keeping them.

Kate looked over her shoulder in the direction of her house and back to Caroline, her face unreadable.

"It's late...I should get back..." Kate began. "And you should get home, you look cold."

Caroline had forgotten about the cold. "Yes. I'm sorry for turning up like this, I didn't really give you much choice about speaking to me. I just needed to...I missed you, missed talking to you, really."

Kate shook her head slowly, seemingly at herself and Caroline wondered what she was thinking.

"You can come in." Kate stated shortly. "You can come in if you like and we can talk some more..."

Caroline's face turned up at all it's edges.

"But...we have to really talk this time..." Kate warned. "I want you to tell me what really happened with you and your mum, why she thought we were at it the other morning and why she hates me, would be a good place to start."

Caroline nodded seriously. "Okay." She agreed simply and walked a step behind Kate for a moment like a scolded child before lengthening her stride and falling into step beside her friend.

Xxxx

Kate strode through the hallway without taking off her jacket and pushed into a room just off to the left, Caroline hovering behind her.

"Mum, I'm back!" She called.

"Mhmm, dinners in the oven, should be hot again now." Her mother replied.

Caroline could see Leon seated on a bench at a large wooden table tucking into his meal, he caught her eye and gave her a friendly smile. He was very attractive, Caroline was sure that he must have a lot of success with the ladies but he didn't come across as arrogant, at least she hadn't thought so.

"Thanks...I'll take it through." Kate said. "Caroline's just popped in for a chat."

Kate's mother turned around now with interest as if she hadn't noticed the extra person in the room.

"Caroline!" She said with a broad smile. "So this is you!" She opened out her arms and for a moment Caroline got the awful feeling that she was about to hugged by a stranger but the moment passed and Kate's mum was turning to hand Kate a fork.

"Kate, get a drink for your friend." She instructed.

"Thank you." Caroline said quietly.

Kate filled a glass with water and handed it to Caroline and then got one for herself. She had already began putting fork fulls of what looked like a stew and dumplings into her mouth and was moving back to the door.

"Kate take a tray at least if you won't sit at the table, girl!" Her mother called. "Ah, no manners!" She said wistfully to Caroline, who smiled and followed after Kate into the front room of the house which Caroline was relieved to find was empty.

Kate sat with her food in her lap and took another bite as Caroline took the seat opposite, the room was warm as if the life had only just left it and Caroline wondered who else had been in here tonight and what scenes were regularly played out within these walls.

"Sorry...I'm starving!" Kate told her as she continued to eat. Caroline awkwardly pretending not to watch and instead forcing herself to gaze curiously around the room.

A moment later Kate stood and left the room, taking her dish back into the kitchen, as the doors opened Caroline could hear the sound of Leon's deep voice carry through the house as he spoke followed by the sound of his mother's light laughter.

Kate returned and shut the door behind her, going back to her seat facing Caroline. Caroline felt nervous, like she was in the waiting room at the dentist or waiting for a job interview.

"What have you been up to the last few day's?" She asked Kate.

Kate shrugged. "This and that." She replied, disinterested. "So...you were going to tell me something..." She reminded.

Caroline looked around the room, as if checking that no one else was hiding somewhere, giving the door a hard look.

"Caroline..." Kate urged.

"Alright...I'm sorry, I don't know where to start, how to start." She admitted sheepishly.

"Why don't you tell me who she was?" Kate said.

"Who who was?"

"Whoever it was that you were with before." Kate persisted.

"I..." Caroline's first instinct was denial, was to brush off the inquiry, to withdraw.

Kate sensed this in the hesitation and she reached over and picked one of Caroline's hands up and held it in her own warmer ones. Caroline was momentarily stunned but after a moments silence she heard the sound of her own voice.

"Her name was Rebecca. Becky. We were put together for one of our first projects, lab partners. We spent a lot of time working together, she was so bright, I think I was attracted to her brain more than anything else...but it hadn't even occurred to me...anything else... not then." Caroline said, feeling it was important for Kate to know this.

"Its alright." Kate assured. "Tell me what happened?"

"She kissed me, we started seeing each other, it didn't seem that strange, that shocking. I mean we didn't advertise the fact but it didn't seem like a dirty little secret either. I had never felt like that before, I think I got carried away." Caroline sighed. "When I came home that first summer I thought everything would be...well not fine...but not so bad, I had found someone that made me happy, someone that made me feel...like normal people did. I thought if my Mum could see that, she would have to accept it, even be happy for me, in time."

"It didn't quite go to plan?" Kate supposed.

"I was an idiot to believe that. I can still see her face when I told her...she was appalled! Disgusted! All she could say was don't tell anyone else, don't dare! Then she said I should forget about it, it was a silly idea. I wasn't in Oxford now. People around here wouldn't have it. I think she considered forbidding me from going back, but what would she tell people? So instead she sent me back, she stopped asking me about my friends, stopped talking about anything but work and so we pretend it never happened, or we did until... If I could take back every word of it...I would." Caroline said honestly.

"Don't say that." Kate said. "It was how you felt, you should be able to share it, especially with her." Kate laced her fingers with Caroline's and gave her hand a squeeze. "I am sorry."

Caroline nodded as she felt tears invade her eyes and fought to blink them back.

"And what happened with you and Becky?" Kate asked softly.

"Oh it was a disaster after that." Caroline sighed. "I mean, I just started being more and more distant, pushing her away and then she told me she was seeing someone else, a lecturer!" Caroline said.

"That must have been...difficult." Kate said. "When I'm heart broken I always want my mum." She admitted pathetically.

Caroline looked Kate in the eye sadly. "I didn't discuss it with mum."

"No, I can imagine." Kate said. "So what did you do?"

"I just got on with it." Caroline said. "Well...I did eat a lot of ice cream that term." She confessed.

Kate grinned. "Glad to hear you're not a complete robot." She quipped.

A single tear fell now and Kate passed Caroline a tissue that she had snagged from a box on the side table.

"Sorry." Caroline said as she dabbed at the corner of her eyes.

"For what?" Kate asked.

"Crying." Caroline replied. "I'm a mess."

"Oh, no one bats an eyelid at a crying female in this house, we have a teenager living here don't forget." Kate joked.

Caroline tried to pull herself together. "What about you?" She said finally.

"What do you mean?" Kate asked.

"You said you have had your heart broken?" Caroline recalled.

"Oh, yeah, that...gosh loads of times." Kate said, making an expression like she was trying to search her memory. "The first was Kevin O'Reilly when I was eight and a half and he dumped me for my best friend Susie. Then there was Daniel Anderson who I was crazy for through most of high school...his family moved to California." Kate told her.

Caroline looked at the damp ball of tissue in her hands and Kate sighed more dramatically.

"There was one girl..." She began in a more serious tone which got Caroline's undivided attention. "A girlfriend of Leon's, hmmmm she was lovely, I suppose it was a crush really but I was sure it was more than that at the time, that we would run away together and live in a little apartment in Barcelona or somewhere, I would play piano and she could paint."

Caroline smiled at the scene, then raised an eyebrow in question.

"Well, of course it ended badly. Leon got sick of her, said she was moody and dumped her after a few weeks. I begged him to sort things out with her just so I could see her again." Kate admitted. "He thought the whole thing was very amusing."

"You mean...he knew..how you felt?" Caroline asked, surprised.

Kate shrugged. "He knew something, he thought it was hero worship or a crush, like I said. He wasn't bothered, he used to tease me about it."

Caroline found it hard to believe, such a casual reaction to the feelings Kate had expressed. "What about since then?" Caroline asked. "Were you seeing anyone at Uni?"

Kate cringed. "A couple of guys in the first term, just friends that I ...you know...ended up spending the night with and then one girl who was in my tutorial group, we went out and got pissed, like you do, the next day she woke up in my bed saying she was really sorry...she'd had a great night, but she had a boyfriend."

"I'm sorry." Caroline said again.

"It was just a drunken thing, no one's feeling were hurt." Kate assured her. "And now there's you." She said with a deep sigh. "Who knows how my heart will fair."

Xxxx

_**A/N- Thanks for the reviews guys, they mean a lot to **_


	11. Chapter 11

Another time perhaps?

_A/N- Sorry for the delay folks, real life has been a little crazy with one thing and another this last week. Hoping for more calm but as the kids are off next week, it could go either way. Thanks xx_

"Mother!" Caroline covered her laugh with her hand and clutched at the napkin on her lap.

"Oh, he had it coming to him, snot nosed little pimple, I've got underwear older than him!" Celia scoffed.

Caroline's shoulders rose as she stifled another chuckle. "Yes well, he knows all about your underwear thanks to that little display, asking him what the point was in crotchless knickers! He almost died of embarrassment ." Caroline whispered across the table.

"And he thought I was some boring old housewife, that'll teach him about hanging around Women's lingerie!" Celia stated.

"When you said about catching a draft I nearly wet myself!" Caroline chuckled as tears of laughter threatened the corners of her eyes.

Caroline tried not to linger on the thought that at times her mother could be so outspoken, so blase and then at other times so disappointingly conventional.

"I'm going to order a pot of tea, what would you like?" Celia said, glancing down at the menu she held open.

"Same." Caroline nodded as she considered her food options.

Celia pointed a finger in the air and locked eyes with a passing waitress, who took the drinks order and left.

A few moments later they were waiting for food with tea cup in hand, Celia's little finger extended outwards delicately.

"Ahhh, that's better." She said.

They had been out all morning, in and out of all the big stores and a couple of the smaller ones. Caroline had bought some new bedding and a couple of things for her kitchen, including some new egg cups that she would probably never use. Celia had selected some curtains to replace the ones she had suddenly taken against in the living room.

"Mum..." Caroline said, drawn out and in a tone that alerted Celia to the prospect of a difficult question. "I spoke to Dad last night..."

"Oh yes? I'm sure that was riveting for the pair of you." Celia said flippantly.

"He came in really late." Caroline began. "I know that you're not stupid..."

"Oh such praise!" Celia quipped.

Caroline rolled her eye in frustration. "I'm trying to be serious!"

"You always are these days." Celia grumbled, looking impatiently over at the waitress.

Caroline had anticipated the deflection, the joking but she had thought that at least here, in a public setting, her Mother couldn't avoid her questions forever, she had to face what Caroline was saying. It had been turning over and over in her mind since Kate had suggested she speak to her mum.

"You know what he is up to and you've probably known for years...and you put up with it!" Caroline said in a hushed voice, leaning slightly over the table to her mum.

"I just get on with it Caroline, there is no sense in worrying about it now, whats done is done." Celia said, folding and unfolding her napkin before laying it out onto her lap. "All I want to do now is keep it as private as possible, it's between me and your Dad and I want to keep it that way. I don't want anyone knowing." Celia warned, her eyes stern and serious.

Caroline held up both her hands, palms facing out in defence. "I wouldn't"

Celia held her daughters gaze and then seemingly satisfied, dropped it to her hands now clasped on the table. "I don't want to talk about it any further." She said firmly.

"Mum, you have to speak to someone, you can't carry on as you are..." Caroline went on.

"Can't I?" Celia asked flatly.

You could have a different kind of life, make a new one. You could move away from here if you're so bothered about what people think. You don't have much family now that Granny's gone, you never see Auntie Muriel anyway."

"Oh yes, and where do you suppose I'll go then?" Celia challenged.

"You could move closer to me, you wouldn't have to be alone." Caroline suggested.

"Down South!? You're kidding? They're like another species down there. Southerners...

Ha, who should I go to tea with first Mrs Thatcher or the Queen?"

"Thatcher isn't a Southerner she was born in Lincolnshire." Caroline argued. "But that's beside the point...You could make friends, have hobbies, get a job if you wanted to, reinvent yourself."

Celia gave a hoot. "Reinvent myself? You'd be better off trying to reinvent the wheel. Caroline...Sometimes I forget how young you are..."

"I know it wouldn't be easy..." Caroline argued.

"Caroline, I've made my bed." Celia said simply. "People are too quick to try and get themselves out of things that are inconvenient these days..."

"Inconvenient? You make each other miserable! That's not something you can work out or mend...he has broken his vows, surely that gives you the right to leave him. You wouldn't even have to get a divorce if you didn't want..."

"A divorce!? I should think not!" Celia said, scandalised.

"You could just live apart, people do that...A girl in my college, her Mother lives in the south of France and her Dad works in London, they only see each other at Christmas and birthdays." Caroline told her.

"Oh I couldn't live with the French, all that cheese, garlic, french bread and I'm not very good with the lingo." Celia dismissed.

"That's not the point Mum, you could go anywhere, do anything." Caroline said passionately.

"I am stopping where I am Caroline, So let's leave it at that." Celia said finally as the young waitress appeared with their plates. "Shall we do something tonight? We could get a video and go out for our tea?" Celia said after a moments silence.

"I can't tonight. I'm going to the pictures." Caroline said, cutting into her quiche.

"Oh, you never said. What you going to see?"

"Oh something with Goldie Hawn in, she falls off a boat or something...I don't know, Kate chose it." Caroline added casually, not looking for her mothers reaction.

"Oh. Kate." Celia stated. "You hadn't mentioned her for a few days, I thought maybe you had stopped...seeing her."

Caroline shook her head and paid careful attention to loading up her fork.

"Just the two of you going to see the film is it?" Celia asked with a sniff.

"Not sure, I met a couple of her friends last week, Jules and her cousin Mickey, so there might be a crowd of us..." Caroline lied, not wanting to completely sour the atmosphere but immediately feeling guilty about her deception.

Celia nodded her head quietly unconvinced and went back to cutting up her food.

Xxxx

This time as Kate walked down the street beside Caroline she didn't loop her arm through the blonde's, she didn't clasp her hand and pull her along, she kept a very slight amount of distance constantly between them, all the way to the pictures. Something had changed, since she had spent the night wrapped in Caroline's arms, in her bed, since she had confessed some of her feelings and now she had a sense that if they touched, it had to mean something, something more for them both.

Caroline had picked up on this and a nervous kind of excitement had set in, as if this was a first date, though Caroline couldn't remember ever having been on a real first date. The carefree chatter that Kate normally exuded had been replaced by a more conscientious and thoughtful kind of talk.

"How were things today, with your mum?" Kate asked softly, with a hint of concern, hoping she wasn't opening up another difficult conversation but unable to help her curiosity.

"It was alright." Caroline assured with a small smile. "It was nice actually...she isn't...she's not all bad you know? I know she hasn't been...well she's behaved appallingly to you...but she's really not..."

"It's fine Caroline, you don't have to make excuses for her and you don't have to explain...she's your mum." Kate shrugged as if that explained it all.

"I spoke to her...about Dad." Caroline mentioned.

Kate stopped in her stride for a moment, a look of surprise. "Really?"

"Yes." Caroline confirmed. "I thought about what you said...that I should...try."

Kate smiled to herself. Caroline was listening to her? Taking her advice? Things really were changing. "How did it go?"

"Oh she wouldn't hear a thing about leaving him, complete waste of time! Except, I'm glad I told her that I know, maybe...one day...if she ever wants to talk...or to do something about it...she might turn to me then." Caroline gave a half shrug and now, finally, Kate reached for her hand.

It felt like it hadn't before. Caroline felt the tingle of her nerves wherever Kate's finger tips met her skin, she felt it in her hand and through to the pit of her. Their pace had gotten slower and slower as they made their way into town, putting off the moment when they would be surrounded by other people, in the dark and the noise of the cinema.

Kate had her hair tied up with a bright red scarf the same colour as the lipstick she wore and a long, over-sized black jumper with white polka-dots, she looked fashionable but casual, as if she had just thrown on her outfit without thought. Caroline on the other hand wore a smart and simple dress with matching shoes and earings, she had spiced it up with a new Jacket that Kate had helped her choose, it was just to her waist and had rather proud shoulder pads, she decided very quickly that she liked it, it gave her the look and so the feel of an extra confidence.

Caroline realised that she had been studying Kate without either of them saying a word for a long time now and she blushed and cleared her throat.

"We'll miss the film." She told Kate, not taking her eyes from the dark gaze they were locked in.

"We will." Kate agreed and sighed as she turned back to their walk.

It turned out to be the perfect thing for them to do together, to sit and enjoy a lighthearted and in places, hilarious film. Recently their time together had been filled with difficult exchanges and an intensity that was tiring and not something Caroline was at all used too. The cinema, although busy, felt almost private, they sat in the back row and no one else joined them as some larger groups of girls had taken the seats a couple of rows in front and seemed to be putting everyone else off with their chattering and laughter as people filed in.

Caroline took advantage of the opportunity to gaze unobserved at Kate as she watched the screen and laughed loudly at Goldie Hawn strutting haughtily around the place. Just as Caroline felt herself relax completely, Kate turned and caught the blonde obviously watching her. Kate smiled a little self consciously and looked away before letting her hand find Caroline's in the dark space between their seats.

Caroline looked back to the screen but felt her heart start to race as she absorbed the light touch of Kate tracing patterns on the back of her hand, the motion was quickly driving Caroline a little crazy and she took a more firm hold of Kate's fingers in her own. Kate flashed her a mischievous smile and then pulled her hand out of Caroline's and placed it now on her long leg that was crossed one over the other, Caroline's stocking covered knee jutted out close to Kate's own leg. Kate traced a new pattern over the thin silky fabric just above the knee and made her way slowly but surely higher up Caroline's thigh to the hem of her skirt and just dipped beneath.

Caroline instantly uncrossed her legs and crossed them again in the other direction, sending Kate a stern look of warning which caused the younger woman to giggle at a place in the film that really didn't warrant a giggle. Caroline's face, like her body was flushed with heat as she struggled to turn her attention back to the film.

The film wasn't one she would have chosen herself but she did find it entertaining and she was even a little touched by the overly romantic ending, but perhaps the company had something to do with that. As they made their way back to Kate's house the atmosphere was relaxed and happy until at the door Caroline felt her nervousness suddenly return. This was traditionally the part of the evening where Caroline would tell Kate about what a lovely time she had had and maybe she would walk home with Kate's goodnight kiss on her lips. Yet they were no traditional couple on a traditional date and although Caroline wanted nothing more than to kiss Kate, she knew that it wasn't going to happen here and now.

Kate turned to Caroline at the foot of the steps. "What should we do tomorrow?" She blurted.

Caroline's brow raised a little in question.

"I mean...do you want to? Do something? Tomorrow?" Kate tried again.

"Yes."

"What?"

"Anything."

Kate's smile lit her dark eyes.

"Kate?"

"Yes?"

"I wanted to ask you something." Caroline said, building up to something she hadn't really let herself seriously consider until now.

"What?"

"Your classes don't begin for over a week after mine." Caroline stated with a serious look.

Kate nodded, waited, then added. "That's not actually a question."

"I hoped that you might...I mean you mentioned once before that you might...but that was before we..." Caroline failed to complete any of her sentences.

"Caroline!" Kate begged taking hold of both her hands and dragging her back into the now.

"I want you to come back with me." Caroline said more boldly. "To Oxford, for a few days...a week? If you like?"

Kate looked at her shoes, then at Caroline, uncertainty clearly written on Kate's face. "Are you sure?"

Caroline nodded quickly and repeatedly. She really wasn't sure about so much of this. "I just know I'm not ready to say goodbye to you yet and if we could spend a little more time together, away from here and..." She was going to say far away from her mother but couldn't quite bring herself to. "everything, maybe we could work some of it out."

Kate still looked not entirely convinced. "So...I would just be a friend, coming to stay with a friend for a few days in Oxford?"

Caroline looked unhappy with the question. "You know I can't make any promises yet, I don't want to mislead you or hurt ..." Kate began to emotionally pull away and Caroline felt it, saw it in her face, so she grasped her hands just a little tighter. " But I want you to come back with me, isn't that enough for now?" She pleaded.

Kate sighed and closed her eyes for a long moment before opening them to Caroline. "I don't know Caroline." She admitted taking back her hands. "I don't know. I'll think about it." She decided.

Caroline nodded her acceptance. "So, I'll come around tomorrow then?" She checked.

Kate nodded and moved up the steps. "Goodnight." She called.

Xxx

_**A/N- Thanks all xx**_


	12. Chapter 12

Another time perhaps? 12

**A/N- Apologies again for the wait. Crazy, crazy real life. This week: trying to sell our house! **

"I had 25 pairs." Kate said, sneaking a coy glance at Caroline who grinned delightfully.

"You didn't?" Caroline asked with a chuckle.

Kate tried a serious face. "I did! I had every colour, neon pink, neon yellow, neon green, black with neon pink stripes ..."

Caroline put up a hand, still chuckling. "I get the idea!"

"What? They were cool, I was a teenager!" Kate defended.

"You still are!" Caroline pointed out.

"Only for another year and a bit." Kate shrugged. "And I meant, when I was a young teenager, everyone wore them! I bet even you had a pair?"

Caroline shook her head. "I am a little older than you don't forget and not so much of a slave to fashion!"

Kate opened her mouth in shocked protest, then glanced at her outfit and shrugged her acceptance.

Kate narrowed her eyes at Caroline and shifted her position on the couch so that where she had been leaning against Caroline's shoulder she now stretched herself out along the length of the couch, her head in Caroline's lap, looking up at her and reaching a finger out to poke her in the ribs.

"Are you sure you never owned a pair? Ever? Not even as a child? Didn't Celia take you to ballet class? I bet she did." Kate giggled as she pushed her fingers beneath the edge of Caroline's top and tickled the spot above her hip. Caroline jerked and captured Kate's wandering touch, flashing a warning look with her cool blue eyes.

"I did tap and ballet and I don't remember ever wearing legwarmers." The blonde stated confidently.

"I still have my collection." Kate said simply, pretending to turn her attention back to the T.V.

Caroline's smile beamed. "Really?"

Kate nodded. "I'm waiting for them to come back in." She said, the tip of her tongue running over her teeth and distracting Caroline completely.

Without thinking Caroline had put her arm around Kate's middle, pinning her in place as she found the same spot that Kate had just visited on her and tickled furiously.

Kate squirmed and tried to sit up, her wriggling bringing her even more fully into Caroline's lap and serving as no defense against the onslaught of tickles. Caroline grinned as Kate tried unsuccessfully to push Caroline's arm away from her and then Kate snorted and both women were in a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

Caroline had spent the last few days here at Kate's house and had begun to feel quite relaxed , she hardly sat and watched the door suspiciously anymore, as she had at first, she had come to learn that if anyone else was in the house with them and coming into the room, you usually heard them before you saw them. Also she had been intrigued to find that almost right away no one had expressed any surprise in finding her there, no matter the hour, no one had seemed to notice anything strange about her sudden occupation of whatever spot happened to be right beside Kate. Everyone had been briefly polite and welcoming and had now moved on to being almost indifferent about her presence.

So that now, as Kate squealed and pinched at Caroline who had her trapped in a tickle attack, neither of them were ready for the door bursting open and even if they had been they would not have expected the sour face that greeted them.

Caroline had frozen only an instant after seeing her there but Kate lay defeated on the couch, her head again in Caroline's lap as she tried to recover from the panting. Kate tipped her head all the way back as she noticed Caroline tense beneath her and she saw her friend finally.

"Jules!" She called cheerily, raising one hand in the air but not attempting to remove herself just yet.

"Leon let me in." Jules said cooly, looking just as cool as she glanced from Kate up to Caroline.

Caroline looked guilty, she felt that she did, but she didn't know how to stop it and the way Jules was looking at her didn't help.

"We were just watching a bit of television." Caroline explained.

"Yeah, I can see that." Jules said sharply, taking a seat in the well worn armchair, taking her handbag off her shoulder and putting it on her lap stiffly.

Kate sat up properly now that she had calmed down fully and moved so that there was little more than an inch of a gap between herself and Caroline on the couch, she straightened her top up a little and faced Jules now.

"What's up?" She asked as she took in Jules expression.

Jules shot a look at Caroline then leaned slightly forward making it clear she was addressing Kate alone.

"What's up is I haven't seen you for days, no one has and after the..." Another glare at Caroline. "...state you were in last time we spoke, I thought I'd come and check that you were okay, excuse me for caring, for being a good friend, I suppose I should have figured it out." Jules said unhappily.

"Oh Jules! I'm sorry, theres nothing to worry about." Kate said apologetically. "Thanks for caring!" Kate grinned. "I've just been here, hanging about." Kate explained, allowing herself a conspiratorial smile at Caroline.

Caroline knew now that she had not imagined the looks she was getting from Jules and neither had she missed what had been said. Kate had gone to Jules when she was upset, about her? What had been said? What had Kate told her old friend?

"I'll get us some snacks." Kate said getting up and heading out of the room.

The thought of being left in a room with Jules right now made up Caroline's mind and she jumped from her seat, after Kate.

"I'm going to pop home." Caroline said. "I said I'd have lunch with mum." She lied.

Kate frowned at the blonde. "You never said."

"Slipped my mind." Caroline said quickly, following Kate to the door. "Bye Jules."

Caroline felt Jules' eyes follow her across the room and once on the outside she looked accusingly at Kate.

"What have you said to her?" Caroline snapped in a whisper. "About me?"

Kate tensed up, obviously not expecting the question. "I was just a little tearful, last time I saw her, she bumped into me after... Well a few days ago...when things were...I was upset." Kate mumbled, trying to shrug it off.

"And what did you tell her?" Caroline demanded, still keeping her voice low but firm.

"I said I was...there was someone I had feelings for and that they had dumped me...I told her it was complicated... I accidentality said she instead of he and" Kate sighed. "She guessed the rest." Kate confessed.

"Did you say my name?" Caroline asked now in a no nonsense tone.

"Yes." Kate confirmed reluctantly.

"What exactly did you tell her?" Caroline wanted to know, glancing around the empty hallway and leaning in close to Kate. "You're going to have to say it."

"That we kissed." Kate admitted. "Look, She's a mate, I wouldn't have told her otherwise, she's not going to say anything." Kate assured.

Caroline pulled her coat from the banister and began pulling it on quietly.

"Are you cross?" Kate asked, praying for a denial.

Caroline stopped and looked at Kate. She looked so vulnerable, so unguarded.

"No." Caroline stated finally, her face telling a different story. She was furious, but she couldn't direct it at Kate. It had been her own doing. She couldn't expect to mess around with Kate's and not expect her to turn to someone else, one of her friends, that was Kate all over. Not everyone found it easy to lock their emotions inside. Kate was used to sharing, how would this be any different? Caroline moved to the door and was gone without looking back again.

Xxxx

Kate hadn't really expected Caroline to come back today, not the way she had left and maybe a few days ago she wouldn't have, but here she was tapping at Kate's bedroom door and sheepishly poking her head around it.

"Caroline?" Kate smiled weakly, a little apprehensive as she saw her friends face.

"Hi." Caroline said, coming in and carefully closing the door behind her.

Kate sat up on her bed and Caroline sat herself on the floor, crossing her legs and looking up at Kate.

"What did she say after I'd gone?" Caroline asked calmly.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Not a lot." She said, not wanting to expand.

"She wasn't exactly happy to see me here, with you." Caroline said.

Kate shrugged. "She worries about me, it's nothing personal."

"Really? She doesn't think I'm the older woman, corrupting you, making you do something you wouldn't..." Caroline began knowingly.

"It's not like that, nothing like that, I kissed you!." Kate rushed in.

"Is that what your friend thinks?" Caroline asked, still calm, still quiet.

Kate shrugged. "I don't care what she thinks. She doesn't know you yet and she's jealous, she'd be the same with anyone."

Caroline looked doubtful. "Really? Kate, are you willing to lose friends over this? Old friends like her? Good friends." Caroline persisted.

"If she is such a good friend we'll work it out." Kate protested.

"Maybe, maybe not. You can't know... and there's everyone else...and I won't be here..." Caroline added hopelessly.

Kate gave up her protest with a sigh, but continued to listen.

"I wish you hadn't said anything to her..." Caroline said shaking her head. "But maybe it's good that you did. I know you can't help it, that's the way you are, that's one of the things..." Caroline halted, sighed and fiddled with the one of the rings she wore, spinning it around her finger. "I think we have been in a bubble for the last few days, maybe weeks and it's been lovely."

"It has." Kate agreed eagerly.

"But we haven't talked about what happens next, you haven't mentioned coming to Oxford since I asked you." Caroline went on.

"I haven't sorted out..." Kate tried to jump in but Caroline stopped her.

"Maybe it's for the best, now you can see what could happen, before we do anything we can't take back, maybe it's for the best... that you don't come." Caroline said. "Maybe...I shouldn't have asked you."

"Don't say that." Kate begged sadly.

"It's okay. It's not as if you can think about it with me here all the time. I'm going to Sheffield with Mum tomorrow and then you have a couple of days until the weekend." Caroline said reasonably. Kate didn't speak. "I'm going back on Saturday, my train leaves at 12, I'll be at the station...obviously. If you don't come..." Caroline said thickly. "I'll know, I'll understand."

Kate opened her mouth to speak as Caroline got to her feet.

"I'll be there." Kate said. "Whatever, I decide to do, I'll come to the Station."

Caroline nodded as Kate also got to her feet and the blonde seized her hands, pulling her in close, she didn't give her time to expect the kiss that landed fully on her lips, sliding one arm around the taller girl's waist and pulling back from the kiss, only to return quickly to it again, more slowly, drawing it out. Kate kissed her back now, reaching her arms around Caroline and holding on tight, an almost silent moan escaping from her.

"Just to even things up." Caroline explained as she took a steadying breath and grinned. "This time, I most definitely kissed you." She said proudly.

xxxx

**A/N- Thanks for reading guys xx**


	13. Chapter 13

Another time perhaps? 13

"I always hate it when you go back." Celia sighed into her morning tea. "I've washed and ironed that new bedding you bought, you don't want to be putting it on smelling like shop."

Caroline smiled into her cereal. "Thanks."

"Suppose you don't know when you'll be back up again?" Celia asked gloomily.

Caroline shrugged. "It depends how busy I get, Can't be sure until I get started."

"Well, perhaps I could come down and see you next?" Celia asked brightly.

Caroline frowned. "You hate the trains, you said they smell like the homeless have been living in them." She reminded.

"Yes well, I might get your Father to run me down, take a day off work, it's the least he could do." Celia muttered.

"If you like." Caroline agreed, getting up from the table.

"I do miss you, you know?" Celia told her.

"I know." Caroline said with a sigh.

Xxx

Caroline glanced again at the large dark hands of the station clock, believing for a second that they had stopped, until she saw the pointed minute line move slowly to it's next position. She checked her own watch, just to be sure and turned to look down the length of the platform. She was early, she was always in plenty of time for her departure, she found it so undignified to have to run to catch a train, she would rather let it leave and have to wait an hour than be seen breaking a sweat.

She'd had to persuade her mum not to come with her into the station.

"You'll only get upset." She'd told her.

"She's right." Caroline's Dad had said firmly. "I'm not parking, we'll leave you at the drop off point." He told Caroline.

It was 13 minutes to twelve, the train hadn't arrived yet and neither had Kate. Maybe she wasn't coming. Still, she'd said she would, either way. Caroline shifted from foot to foot impatiently, looking briefly down at her heels as they made a clicking sound on the tarmac. She checked her tights for any signs of laddering, she examined the nails she had polished last night in a nice peach colour, she had done a good job, meticulous. If she was about to be dumped at the station at least she'd be looking damn good.

A train came in on the opposite platform and people poured from the carriages, making their way hurriedly to the exits. Caroline had already noticed a couple waiting excitedly and now they spotted and waved over an older couple and two children, getting off the newly arrived train, meeting them each with hugs and kisses. Caroline could see their joy from where she stood, a normal, happy family. She couldn't help but smile to herself. One day she wanted that. To be surrounded by that kind of love. She deserved it, everyone did. She felt her eye's brimming with tears and blinked them back quickly. Where the hell was Kate?

Caroline walked back along to the end of the platform where she could see the entrance and the ticket booth, two people formed a small queue, but neither one was her friend.

Turning her back on the sight, Caroline wondered back along the platform and went back to watching the clock. The sound of a crackly and somewhat muffled voice announced that the next train arriving at the platform was hers and Caroline felt the panic setting in.

Caroline had never dared to assume that Kate would accept her offer and come with her to Oxford but Kate had promised that should would at least be at the station and for her just not to show up, to say goodbye, seemed almost too much to bare. Moments later the train was pulling into the platform, Caroline heard the great machine before she saw it, before she felt it's rumble and the pulling back of momentum as it dragged to a stop.

Caroline should not have left things like this, should never have put herself in a situation of such uncertainty, she should have asked Kate to make a decision days ago, whatever it was, then she would have known one way or another and she could have dealt with it. This wasn't like her. But then nothing about the way she felt around Kate was like her, that was the point.

For a second, Caroline considered letting the train go without her, perhaps Kate was running late, held up somewhere, trying to get here. But in her heart Caroline knew that Kate's absence was an answer in itself, she wasn't coming. And Caroline had never missed a train in her life, she wasn't about to start now. With one last look down the long platform she boarded the train and moved along the carriages searching for a seat that suited her. The train wasn't busy, people dotted here and there and she scanned her options, looking for a seat facing front and not too close to the doors or the toilet, finally settling on one that was a couple of rows from any of the other passengers and slipping her bulky bags up onto the luggage rack above.

Caroline got into her seat by the window and looked out through it back to the platform. Now she saw an older woman seated on a bench, dressed very formally, a file of papers in her lap and smoking a cigarette, she looked bored, tired and drawn, heavy frown line's visible upon her face and her eye's seemed dull. Caroline wondered what her story was, and guessed there would be no loving family waiting to meet her today. Caroline let her forehead rest briefly against the window and sighed inwardly, she knew what it was to be lonely, she had done for so long, would it be that difficult to go back to it now? An hour ago she had felt a certain amount of reluctance at leaving Harrogate, for the first time in years. Right now she felt that she couldn't get away quick enough.

Just as Caroline opened her eyes she saw the flash of a familiar figure pass by the outside of the train. She jumped up out of her seat and hurried to the door, pushing it open and popping her head outside before calling Kate's name loudly. She then felt a little self conscious about her actions and looked around to see who may have heard.

Kate stopped in her tracks, a couple more carriages along the train and turned, striding quickly back, toward Caroline.

"You thought I wasn't coming?" Kate asked as she reached her.

"No...well, yes I thought you'd decided against it..." Caroline said calmly, looking down at her feet and readying herself for Kate's goodbye.

"I've changed my mind about fifteen times, just this morning." Kate shrugged awkwardly.

"The train's here." Caroline said stupidly, still hanging out of the door.

Kate's smile was crooked. "I can see that. ...So you were just going to go then, without saying goodbye?"

Caroline looked around guiltily. "I didn't think..."

"It took me ages to get a ticket." Kate explained. "But I'm here now."

Caroline's face transformed as Kate's words sank in. "You're coming?" She checked.

Kate looked at Caroline expectantly and the blonde stood back in the doorway and held a hand out, which was quickly accepted. As the door shut behind them Caroline heard the whistle of the conductor and she smiled into Kate's warm, deep, brown eye's.

"You didn't think I'd let you get away that easily did you?" Kate grinned as the train began to slowly pull out of the station.

"I'm glad you're here." Caroline said, feeling a sudden confidence expand across her chest as she interlaced Kate's fingers with her own and lead the way to their seat.

Xxx

A/N- So, I think this fic is going to just run and run...next up, Oxford! Thank you so much for all reviews and follows x


	14. Chapter 14

Another time perhaps? 14

As Caroline unlocked the door and together they carried her bags inside, the young women were greeted by the cold of a house that has been standing empty for weeks. Caroline shivered in reaction and even though it wasn't a cold day she headed straight to the switch for the heating.

"Emma musn't be back yet." Caroline remarked, suddenly aware of the fact that she and Kate where here alone. "I can't remember when she said she planned to return, she's from Basingstoke." She added conversationally.

Kate nodded. "So, it's just you and me then?"

"Yes." Caroline replied. "I'll have to nip out for some supplies before dinner, but let's get a cup of tea first." She suggested and Kate followed her through the small entry hall into the lounge.

"It's nice." Kate observed of the room. "Much nicer than halls. Sharing with twelve other people."

"You're still in halls?" Caroline asked as if the idea mortified her.

"Yep, at least until next year, it's cheap and we have a laugh. But it's not exactly homely." Kate said. "There is no point having nice stuff in the communal area's, probably just end up getting puked on!" She half joked as she picked up a pretty floral print cushion and gave it a squeeze.

"I'll get the tea." Caroline said as she went in search of the small carton of milk her mother had packed with some sandwiches in a bag for her, leaving Kate to have a look around.

"I like it." Kate declared as Caroline handed her a mug of tea. "This place. It's cosy. It's just you and Emma then?"

"Yeah." Caroline confirmed sitting across from Kate in the small arm chair. "We were in the same college for a bit and then we shared with a couple of other girls, that was a bit of a nightmare and anyway they have both moved in with their boyfriends. Jo is living in London and I think Fran went home, Midlands somewhere."

"You must get on with Emma then, if you've lived together before?" Kate presumed.

Caroline seemed to consider this. "I suppose we are quite similar, we both work very hard, we like peace and quiet..."

"You don't sound like best mates." Kate decided.

"No." Caroline agreed. "Living together is a practical arrangement, it makes financial sense and it works well but we don't..."

"Braid each others hair? Have pillow fights? Talk about the boy's you like?" Kate teased.

Caroline picked up the nearest cushion and proceeded to fling it in Kate's direction as the younger woman giggled. "No. I don't really have friends like that..." She admitted honestly. "Is that the type of relationship you have with Jules?"

Kate sobered quickly at the mention of her friend. "Yes. It was...I mean when we were children. She finds it hard now that I have moved away and she is still at home. The way she is behaving right now is not all about you...or us...I know she feels like I'm leaving her behind." Kate explained.

"You'll sort it out." Caroline said with an adoring smile. "She'd be stupid to throw away a friend like you."

"I think so." Kate agreed, batting her eyelashes dramatically at Caroline.

Caroline felt her tummy do a little flip even though the look was more teasing than it was serious and she suddenly felt flushed as she realised that for this evening at least they were not going to be interrupted. There was no teenage sister, older brother, parent or friend, that may burst in on them unannounced and Caroline was at once thrilled and terrified by the prospect.

"So, which one's your room?" Kate asked, setting her empty mug down on the coffee table.

"What?" Caroline asked nervously.

"Your bedroom Caroline...I thought I could dump my bag in there before we pop to the shops." Kate clarified.

"Oh, of course. I'll bring my bags up." Caroline said, setting her mug beside Kate's and getting clumsily up from the couch.

Xxx

It occurred to Caroline that even the simple task of buying some food from the local supermarket was made much more enjoyable by Kate's mere presence. Kate pushed the shopping trolley down each isle, casually supervising the selections that Caroline made and expressing a few of her preferences when Caroline asked for them or gave her a choice.

They purchased enough food for meals for the next week, although Caroline had said that perhaps they would eat out once or twice, she was familiar with a couple of rather nice restaurants in the area. They had also added a few treats to their purchases, Caroline picking out two bottles of wine and Kate insisting on a tub of ice cream and some strawberries.

When they got back to Caroline's flat, the place was much more welcoming than earlier, they had left the downstairs lights on and the radiators were still warm. Kate watched Caroline unpack the shopping and put things away, leaving out the ingredients for their evening meal and slipping one of the bottles of wine into the small freezer.

It was strange to think that all these mundane little actions were something they had never shared before and each one made Kate feel that much closer to the beautiful blonde. Kate sat up on the far end of the kitchen counter as Caroline went about chopping and preparing food, occasionally offering, but eventually feeding, Kate a tomato or a slice of cheese as she put together the lasagne.

Caroline put the dish into the oven and set the timer, she took the wine out of the freezer, it having chilled nicely and she poured them both a generous glass. Caroline brought both glasses to where Kate sat and handed her one. Caroline stood between Kate's long legs that dangled down either side of Caroline and grazed her hips and thighs. Kate smiled over the rim of her glass as she took a sip and then lent forward to place a small kiss on the corner of Caroline's mouth.

"Thank you." She said sweetly, pushing herself to the edge of the counter top so that she could wrap her legs lightly around Caroline and cross her ankles at her back.

Kate brushed her fingers delicately through Caroline's hair, it framed her face perfectly, hanging just below her chin and curling under slightly. "Thank you for making dinner and for inviting me here."

Caroline couldn't help the smile that spread shyly across her face and she placed her free hand at Kate's waist as she shrugged. "You're welcome?"

Kate placed a finger beneath Caroline's chin and tipped her head back very slightly as she dropped a kiss upon the tip of her nose, causing Caroline's face to crinkle up in response. Kate followed up with a long luxourious exploration of Caroline's lips, letting just the tip of her tongue finally run across the blonde's bottom lip before pulling away to see Caroline with eye's closed, and head tilted as if still inside the moment.

When Caroline opened her eye's she was feeling hot and flustered and she had only had one sip of the wine.

"Kate?" She began as her hand went to the necklace she wore and began to finger it nervously. "I am not sure what you...expect of me...tonight? I mean, I know that I asked you here and I am really pleased that you came, really, really pleased, but I didn't ask you here... for that...so that we could...take things further...you know...physically."

Kate's eyebrows arched high and she looked at Caroline as she considered her response.

"Well...I didn't assume that, that was what I was here for Caroline...I mean, I wouldn't be adverse to taking things a little further, if and when you are comfortable with that...but..you can relax, it will happen when it happens." Kate tried to look reassuring though she was secretly a little thrown by Caroline's obvious nervousness, however adorable it was.

Caroline had moved out from Kate's embrace as she spoke and now she took a large gulp from her glass, her free arm wrapping around her middle.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to make things awkward." She offered after a quiet minute.

Kate hopped down from the counter. "Shall we go and sit?" She asked, sensing that there was more Caroline wanted to say. "We have time before dinner is ready."

In the living room Caroline sat at one end of the couch and Kate was careful to leave a small space between them as she sat down.

"It's just that. I don't do that with people. I mean I don't bring people back and I don't usually sleep with people...casually." Caroline explained.

Kate recalled telling Caroline something about her sexual past and though she hadn't thought of it as sleeping around, she did understand that some people still frowned upon any kind of sex that wasn't part of a serious relationship. Kate understood that, being at University had opened her up to experiences that she probably wouldn't have had if she had stayed at home. It was the old cliche of being a safe environment for experimentation and being free from some of the judgments of the old life at home. She hadn't thought much about what Caroline may think about that.

"I don't sleep with people casually." Kate protested.

Caroline coloured and looked into her glass. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to suggest..."

Kate put a hand out as she saw Caroline's obvious discomfort and took her fingers in her own.

"Have you only been with Rebecca?" Kate guessed.

Caroline's eyes seemed to grow large and she looked at Kate as she sucked in a large breath.

"You did...sleep with Rebecca...didn't you?" Kate asked hesitantly.

Caroline took her glass up and took a drink from it, not looking at Kate as she did so. "We...Rebecca and I, we had a physical relationship...of sorts, we shared a bed most nights and we were often intimate, but there were certain things that I was not ready for, at the time." Caroline took her hand from Kate's and twisted it into her own other hand, only daring short glances at Kate for her reaction, which was currently hard to read.

"You mean, you didn't completely...go there, all the way?" Kate asked, feeling a little confused but trying to hide it.

"God, I don't know why I started telling you this..." Caroline burst, frustrated by her own ineptness.

"Because you wanted me to know...how you feel, what it means to you...I want to know." Kate assured with a weak smile.

Caroline looked closely at Kate's face measuring the truthfulness there. "I wasn't totally comfortable with Rebecca physically, not as comfortable as she was with me. We were intimate but it was a little one sided, if you get my meaning?"

Kate wanted to tell her to spit it out already but she could see how difficult this was for Caroline. "So you made sure she was happy but not the other way around?" Kate asked, to be sure she understood.

Caroline actually looked relieved. "Yes."

Kate nodded. "I see. I understand. Kind of..." It was Kate's turn to take a drink and Caroline looked apprehensive again. "No..I mean, I get what you're saying...I just, don't know how she could have been happy with that arrangement...I suppose...I wouldn't be."

Caroline pushed her hair from her face and smiled sadly. "I don't think she was happy either." She admitted. "Well, clearly she wasn't."

Kate felt sorry she had made that point. "Don't worry Caroline, I think we can share a bed without me ripping your clothes off, we have done once before remember...unless you want me to sleep down here..."

"No." Caroline replied. "I want you with me."

Kate nodded. "Alright then."

Caroline smiled again. "I'll go and check on dinner." She said getting up.

Kate knocked back the rest of the glass of wine as Caroline left the room. It was going to be a long night.

Xxx

**A/N- As ever, thank you all so much for the feedback, it means a lot. xx**


	15. Chapter 15

_Another time perhaps 15._

Kate felt Caroline relax into their evening at once following their discussion and her confession about her sexual experience, or lack of it. Kate too felt a tension ease within her, but it had been one she had welcomed, one that thrilled her.

Caroline had made a delicious meal and they each had more wine. Caroline had flicked on the television set that took up a small corner of the room but the sound only served as background noise as the woman chatted easily about where Caroline had learned to cook and how one of Kate's hall mates had managed to almost burn the place down making cheese on toast after a drunken night out. It occurred to Caroline that, had she and Kate met whilst studying at the same University they would not have been likely to have struck up a friendship at all, Kate's social group being so different to Caroline's, not that Caroline really had much of one.

"Why Chemistry?" Kate asked suddenly, curled up beside Caroline on the couch.

"Why? Lots of reasons. I excelled at the Sciences at school, it suited me, it's objective, it uses reasoning and problem solving and develops analytical skills..."

Kate looked unmoved and Caroline tried again, leaning in toward Kate a little more than she had meant to.

"Chemistry is in everything, it's in the cooking I just did, it's in the perfume you are wearing. Biochemistry is in us, the chemical composition of the human body. It explains how things work, makes sense of the world." Caroline argued. "It's something I am good at, I like being good at things."

Kate sat up a little straighter, leveling up to Caroline, she didn't think that any science could explain the way she worked or the way she felt about the woman beside her, but she was willing not to argue. "I suspect that you are good at most things, Caroline." She said cheekily.

Caroline hesitated for only a second before leaning forward to take Kate's lips in her own, allowing her fingers to lightly trace the line of Kate's jaw as the slow lingering exploration continued and before it came to it's inevitable but reluctant end.

Kate caught her breath. "Are you attempting to prove my point?" She asked.

Caroline's eyes dropped coyly. "Sorry." She mumbled.

Kate took Caroline's fingers into her hand. "You don't have to apologise for that, ever."

The hours had flown by unnoticed and Kate was suddenly aware that it was late and that although her heart was beating ten to the dozen, her body was tired from the inactivity of travel and her head was a little blurred by booze.

Kate kissed Caroline's cheek sweetly and tugged on her hand. "I'm tired Caroline, take me to bed?" She asked as innocently as she could manage.

Xxx

Caroline opened her eyes with the distinct feeling of being ripped from sleep, she spotted Kate, propped up on one elbow and watching her expectantly.

"Sorry." Kate offered lightly, not looking at all genuine.

"What?" Caroline asked, a little dazed and wiping a hand across her eyes.

"I just wanted to make sure you were real... really here..." Kate chuckled.

"Aren't you supposed to pinch yourself...?" Caroline asked sleepily.

"Yep, but pinching you was just too tempting." Kate admitted with a wicked grin.

"Urrgh." Caroline moaned as she pulled the covers more firmly around herself, feeling her head pound slightly.

"You want some water?" Kate asked, reaching down to the floor and retrieving a half full pint glass.

"No..." Caroline mumbled, then sat up a little and accepted the glass, taking a long drink as Kate watched her. "Thank you." She said, handing back the glass. "Did you sleep?"

"Yes, well thanks!" Kate smiled. The alcohol had helped as she had known it would and she had given Caroline one very chaste peck on the lips to say goodnight, promising herself not to start something she couldn't finish. Kate had soon after felt Caroline's arm hook over her middle and pull her in to the very snug spooning position in which she had shortly after found sleep.

"You drank more than I did last night, why do you seem so ...fresh?" Caroline asked suspiciously.

"Training." Kate said quickly. "Or perhaps it is just the effect a night with you has on me Caroline." She teased.

Caroline scowled and Kate moved a little closer beneath the covers wrapping an arm around Caroline's waist and pulling her closer. Caroline softened at Kate's touch and rested her head against Kate's chest. "Hmmmmm, good morning." Caroline said in a tone that was almost serene. "I think i just found a cure for a hangover."

They lay like that for a few minutes and Caroline almost drifted back to sleep again until Kate placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"Come on." Kate said. "I'll make breakfast, you shower and you can show me Oxford!"

Caroline nodded obediently following Kate's warm body out of the bed.

Xxxx

"And this is Merton College where J.R Tolkien was professor of English ..." Caroline reeled off.

They had been marching around the pretty streets of the city for over an hour, it was really busy, students riding around on bicycles and family groups of obvious new arrivals trying to navigate the unfamiliar streets. The buildings were impressive, the many spires and churches very inspiring but Kate was getting tired and hungry.

"Are you alright?" Caroline asked as she realised Kate had stopped where she stood and people were moving to get past her.

"Yes. Just a little tired. You certainly know a lot about this place..." She added.

"Oh, sorry. I have taken the tour a few times and usually when people visit...they want to get around everything..." Caroline said. "Do you want to go and get a drink ?"

"That would be perfect." Kate said taking Caroline's hand in hers and choosing to ignore the way the blondes eyes quickly scanned their immediate vicinity to check for anyone watching them.

They went to the nearest pub, it was small and busy but they managed to find a small table with two short stools at the back of the seated area. Caroline went to the bar and returned with a pint for Kate and an orange juice for herself.

"You're not drinking today then?" Kate smiled.

"No. I need to rehydrate." Caroline stated as she looked around the pub. It was the type with old back and white photographs of Oxford hanging on the walls and a bicycle hanging from the ceiling in one of the corners. There was also a large fire place with some more comfortable looking armchairs beside it that were occupied by two older men.

"Never been in here before." Caroline mentioned.

"Where do you normally drink?" Kate asked. "Perhaps you could take me there later?"

"I don't normally go out drinking. I sometimes have a drink in the college bar after a seminar or a long day studying." Caroline shrugged. "I like to go to some of the free classical concerts that are held in the college halls." Caroline looked troubled.

"What is it?" Kate asked.

"I just don't tend to do much socialising anymore, the types of things I used to enjoy doing have seemed to get pushed aside more and more in favour of work and I'm just now realising how dull that is." Caroline admitted.

"Don't worry, I'm sure we can find some fun of our own. There must be lots going on during freshers week." Kate remarked. "And...if you hate it and want to go home that's okay too, I'm here to spend time with you, not to have a tour of Oxford or go to wild parties. I don't mind what we do." Kate insisted happily.

"Well there are some excellent museums around, The Natural History Museum is worth a visit, they have the most complete remains of a Dodo anywhere in the world...and the Pitt Rivers museum beside that is very interesting." Caroline went on importantly.

Kate put her hand out across the table, stopping an inch from touching Caroline's fingers, which had been tapping restlessly upon the table beside her glass. "I'd like to see where you spend most of your time." Kate said simply. "Didn't you say you have to go in for a meeting tomorrow?"

Caroline nodded. "It's just a chat with my tutor...to lay out the proposal for my research project, It's just checking in and making sure I'm going in the right direction, booking lab time, that kind of thing, It shouldn't take long."

"So, maybe I could come with you, to the college, you could show me around and I could take a book and have a drink whilst you're in your meeting?" Kate suggested cheerfully.

Caroline wracked her brain for an objection other than the one that came, alarmingly, to mind. She didn't want to have to explain Kate to anyone, she didn't want to bump into anyone she knew, though that was admittedly unlikely during such a busy week and considering that many of Caroline's University acquaintances had moved on to other things. Kate was waiting and Caroline cleared her throat.

"Yes, that should be alright." She confirmed, wondering if she could possibly think of a valid excuse before her meeting tomorrow.

XXX

_A/N- Thanks again for taking the time to review, sorry I haven't found more time for updates this week, I have so many ideas for this and just need the time to write it, hope it comes soon. x_


	16. Chapter 16

_Another time perhaps 16._

**A/N- Felt that the weekend update was a little short so I snatched a moment to do this.**

This morning it was Caroline who woke first, she felt the warmth of Kate beside her and listened to the soft rise and fall of her breathing, she briefly understood Kate's urge to wake her up the morning before and have their time together continue as soon as it could but she decided that instead she would take the time to study Kate like this, so natural and simply beautiful.

Caroline tracked the line of Kate's profile with her eyes alone and spent the longest time gazing at Kate's lips, their shape, their fullness, she remembered the taste of them and she wanted to put her thumb to the very corner of Kate's mouth and then wake her with a kiss. This sounded corny even to her and so she continued to watch until she felt Kate's body stiffen and saw her mouth open slowly in a wide yawn, her body stretching out every muscle in a catlike fashion.

Kate smiled knowingly as she opened her eyes to find Caroline and she didn't need to utter the good morning greeting that was written in her eyes. Caroline settled for a kiss to Kate's cheek as she scrambled over the brunette to get out of bed.

"Stay put!" She ordered. "I'll bring us tea and toast in bed."

Kate grinned. Another morning waking up with the woman she adored and tea on top, it just didn't get any better than this. Kate's stomach clenched a little at the sudden thought that these easy morning rituals were to end sooner than she would like and that the joy of waking up with Caroline was also the marking of one more passed day in Oxford.

Half way down the stairs, taking them two at a time and Caroline's happy bubble was similarly burst as she recalled her lunch time meeting and Kate's plan to come into College with her. She gripped the banister as she slowed and felt a familiar nervousness, but she was determined not to let her fear get the better of her while everything was going so well, she really didn't want to screw things up this time.

Xxxx

"It's a nice day." Caroline pointed out as they crossed the green that several groups of students had decided to occupy in scattered little clusters. "I won't mind if you want to go for a stroll while I do this. Professor Mollison does tend to go on a bit and it might take longer than I said..."

"I don't mind." Kate insisted, taking in the pretty buildings that surrounded the courtyard that was part of Caroline's college. "I should do a little reading before next week anyway and we can go for a walk together later."

Caroline nodded. No one had paid any undue attention as Caroline signed her visitor into the college and she knew deep down that she was worrying unnecessarily, but the anxiety had crept in as she mixed her one world with the other and she couldn't shake it, she only hoped that the ever astute Kate, had not and would not notice.

Caroline held two thick folders in front of her chest as they made their way down one of the long corridors. Kate glanced up at the incredibly high ceilings and the decorative old carvings along the cornices. Caroline stopped at a set of heavy double doors and opened one for Kate to step through.

"This is the library." She said quietly. "It's mostly reference books and some individual study rooms at the back, the University has several other libraries, as you know."

Kate followed Caroline along an isle of shelving that was stacked high and thought how similar this all was to the library in her own University. She was happy to be able to picture Caroline here though, she thought she may be needing that in the weeks to follow.

A quick peek into the labs that Caroline often used and then Kate found herself being ushered to the College bar which was, as anticipated, a hive of activity. Caroline paused just inside the door and looked at her watch.

"You sure you'll be okay?" Caroline asked, unconsciously holding a hand to the small of Kate's back and removing it hastily the moment she noticed.

Kate had decided, the moment she had been confronted with Caroline's obvious unease with her being here, that she would ignore it completely and now she only smiled sweetly.

"Go, I'll be fine." She nodded. "I'll see you soon."

Caroline turned on her heels and marched out of the large room, a woman on a mission, Kate watched her go, she really did look at home here, striding down the corridors so confidently and Kate found it incredibly sexy.

Kate made her way to the bar and waited patiently to be served before pushing through a couple of tightly packed groups of chattering young people to locate a seat along the wall. As she settled in and took a text book out of her slightly tatty shoulder bag she noticed someone watching her. Kate turned her eyes directly upon the young man with floppy hair who was blatantly staring at her and she sent him a quizzical frown. What the hell did he find so interesting? He didn't appear to be looking at her in a way that suggested an attraction, that she would have recognised and dealt with easily, but he seemed to be watching her with an almost nervous curiosity as he chewed at a finger nail.

As Kate turned back to her drink and her book she spotted, in the corner of her eye, the young man making his way over to her.

"Hi." He said as he reached her.

"Hello." Kate replied. "Can I help you with something?"

"Can I sit down?" He asked, nodding at the chair beside her.

"It's a free country." Kate shrugged. "But if you're looking for a chat, I have some reading to do."

"Oh, no, sorry I won't be long." He said, taking the seat anyway.

Kate looked back to her book and he ran a hand through his hair before he spoke.

"I saw you with Caroline." He began. "Just now, before she rushed off, Caroline Dawson. I was hoping to speak to her. Do you know where she has gone or...?"

"She has a meeting." Kate replied, suddenly more curious as to who this young man was and how he knew Caroline.

"Oh." He said, clearly disappointed with her answer. "That's a shame...will you be seeing her later?" He inquired.

"And you are?" She asked, in lieu of a reply.

"Oh god sorry, I'm John...John Elliot." He offered as if that should mean something to Kate.

Kate looked blanky at him as he held out his hand and she very briefly shook it. "And how do you know Caroline?" She asked next. "Are you on the same course...?"

"No." John stated. "No. I'm not studying here actually, or anywhere at the moment, I'm taking a year out." He nodded as he spoke, placing his arm along the back of the chair and trying too hard to make himself look relaxed, cool. "Yes, between degrees at the moment and trying to get out in the world, you know? Get a bit of life experience. Set the creative juices flowing." He continued enthusiastically.

"Here?" Kate asked. She expected a gap year to involve some kind of backpacking and Oxford was hardly Africa.

"Well, I hit a bit of a snag with the funding so I'm here for a few months, living with my cousin while I earn a bit of cash and I can get on my way again." John illustrated his point by slicing his hand through the air dynamically.

Kate made up her mind. He was a complete idiot. She nodded at him doubtfully. "Sounds great." She said. "Good luck with that." She finished, holding her book up meaningfully.

"Oh yes, thanks...what did you say your name was?" He asked rising from his seat as he took the not so subtle hint.

"Kate." She supplied. "Bye John."

He frowned a little as he backed away, before returning to her a moment later. "So you don't know when you are seeing Caroline again?" He checked.

"Soon, I hope." Kate couldn't help saying.

"Oh, great!" He clapped his hands together and Kate silently cursed herself . "Perhaps I'll see her then." He gazed at Kate for a moment and then took a card from his trouser pocket and scribbled on it with a pen from the pocket in his shirt. "Just in case I miss her, could you give her this? I've been trying to get in touch with her, to let her know I'm back in Oxford, see if perhaps she'd like to go out with me again, but she musn't have got my messages." He explained confidently, with a bold grin.

Kate's eyes darkened but she smiled. "I'll be sure to pass it on." She promised.

She found it difficult to loose herself in her book, following John's eventual departure. Instead, Kate played out the possibilities of Caroline's acquaintance with John, he had said _again, go out with me again, _which implied that they had been out before, possibly more than once. Caroline hadn't mentioned him but then again Kate sensed that there was an awful lot that Caroline didn't mention. No matter what Caroline thought of the suitor, it was clear that he was anxious to see her again, what was Kate to glean from that? Had Caroline encouraged him? Had they had a nice time together?

Kate had rather subjectively decided that John was a slimeball and that Caroline couldn't possibly be attracted to him, even if it would make her life a little easier. Kate wondered if Caroline would have minded John waiting for her here, if she would flinch everytime John reached for her hand, if she would look around them guiltily and lower her voice for any type of personal conversation they shared. Kate doubted it and she felt a deep ball of resentment rolling inside her. Just for a second she got an image in her mind of a very satisfied looking Celia, if ever Caroline was to turn up on the doorstep with a charming and flattering John in tow. Kate's imagination was unquestionably running away with itself and by the time Caroline spied her in her corner of the bar, she was seething.

"Hey." Caroline called. "I'm back, wasn't as long as I thought, he seemed happy with my plans and gave me the okay to just get on with it." Caroline said cheerily, dumping her folders onto the small round table with a heavy thump. "Do you want another drink? I'm going to nip to the bar." Caroline asked as she took in the sight of Kate's empty glass.

"Yes." Kate replied shortly and noticed the falter of Caroline's smile as she backed away toward the bar.

The blonde returned and placed two glasses down in the centre of the table, smiling hopefully at Kate, who didn't quite manage a half smile in response.

"It's still so busy in here." Caroline commented. No question, no display of concern. "Did you get much reading done?"

"Not really." Kate replied with a sigh as Caroline sat in the seat that John had occupied earlier.

"Do you fancy having dinner out somewhere tonight? I was thinking of this little Italian, just round the corner from me. We could have a drink and walk home..." Caroline went on.

"Who the hell is John?" Kate demanded, unable to contain herself any longer, she crossed one leg over the other and held onto it, only slightly turned in towards Caroline and shooting a brief glance at her face.

Caroline calmly took a sip of her drink, leaning forward. "You might have to give me a clue." She said, drawing a blank.

"John Elliot." Kate said, clearly pronouncing each syllable.

"Is he a relative of George or T.S?" Caroline took a stab.

"Are you being deliberately evasive?" Kate asked, temper flaring slightly.

Caroline was shocked and attempted to cover the look of hurt that accompanied the catch in her throat. "I don't know...?" She began and then froze. "Ohhhhhh" She said, drawing out the word with her realisation. "John!"

"So you do know who I'm talking about?" Kate asked now, her tone still clipped.

"I think so, yes. He's a friend of a friend. We met at some party and we had a chat, he tried to ring me a couple of times, I haven't spoken to him for months. Where did you hear the name?" Caroline asked curiously.

"I met him." Kate said quickly.

"John?" Caroline asked in surprise.

"Yes."

"Here?" Caroline frowned.

"Yes." Kate took a drink. "He saw you come in with me and he was straight over asking how long you'd be. He is very interested in seeing you _again_." Kate said bitterly.

"What is he doing here? In Oxford I mean?" Caroline went on, ignoring Kate's tone.

"He is taking a year out, something about juices." Kate snapped. "He thought you'd be pleased to hear." She accused.

"I couldn't care less." Caroline assured. "Why are you being like this?"

"Is he why you didn't want me to come here today? Were you hoping you could have another chat?" Kate asked, her mind and her mouth spiraling out of control.

Caroline looked around them distractedly at the nearest groups of people, wondering if anyone watching would be able to read this as some kind of lovers tiff. Her delay in answering only enraged Kate further.

"What are you talking about?" Caroline almost whispered, looking anywhere but at Kate.

"You didn't want me here today." Kate repeated.

"I didn't even know he was in Oxford." Caroline reasoned, grasping her drink and taking a long sup from it. "Perhaps we should go and discuss this somewhere more private?" She suggested.

Kate finished her drink in silence. She hadn't meant to pick a fight with Caroline over this but once she had started she felt the ball rolling, gathering speed and crashing into them full force, her pride lay scattered like pins.

Outside Caroline was able to catch her breath, for once _she_ took Kate's hand but only as they left the college buildings behind. Caroline led them back toward the flat, the walk back was a quiet one.

As they got inside Caroline turned to Kate, who had calmed a little but had also grown sullen and sulky.

"What exactly did he say?" Caroline asked, feeling a little flustered and leaning back against the front door for some extra support.

"Not much." Kate admitted, feeling at last a little foolish and trying to drag herself out of her funk. "It was his smarmy face and his certainty that you'd want to see him again that really pissed me off." Kate told her bitterly.

"What did you say to him?" Caroline questioned, too quickly.

Kate shrugged off her jacket. "I told him to back off." She said. "That you were taken and if I caught him sniffing around you again I'd make him sorry." Kate put her hands on her hips defiantly.

Caroline looked appalled but doubtful. "Did you?" She asked fearfully.

"No. I was tempted. I would like to have wiped that smug look off his face." Kate told her.

Caroline sighed in relief. Kate was blowing off steam but she wouldn't have actually said anything that would cause them any trouble.

"Maybe you can tell him when you next see him." Kate sniped.

"You're not...jealous?" Caroline asked now, moving off the door and taking Kate's wrist in hand, tugging Kate a little so she would look at her and Caroline could examine her face, in search of clues.

"Oh course I'm bloody jealous!" Kate snapped, her eyes shining with it. "I have to leave in a few days and that idiot is going to be here, with you, free to chat you up and take you out, put his arm around you and his hands on you." Kate demonstrated by slipping one arm around Caroline's waist and dragging her other hand down from the blonde's shoulder, just smoothing a path around her breast and holding on when she got below it, her fingers pressed against Caroline's rib.

Kate's forehead fell onto Caroline's shoulder and they each breathed in the nearness of one another. "What happened between you?" Kate asked quietly.

Caroline put an arm across Kate's back, holding her there. "Nothing." She murmured, her lips at Kate's hot temple, punctuating with a kiss. "We were at a party, I was a little drunk so I found him funnier than he probably is and he walked me home." Caroline stopped but felt wrong and knew she should finish the tale. "I let him kiss me goodnight."

Kate pulled her head up, but Caroline wouldn't allow her to pull back any further as she rubbed her hand soothingly up and down the tense muscles of her back.

"This was before we met." Caroline reminded sensibly. "I was in a good mood, it was the end of my course, everyone was celebrating." She dismissed.

Kate nodded, she was aware she was being a hypocrite, she had spent the night with more than one other person in the last few months and yet she couldn't quite handle hearing anything similar from Caroline. She knew that nothing Caroline did was ever casual, meaningless, flippant. Whatever had happened that night, John must have made some kind of connection with her to be granted a kiss.

"Are you going to see him again?" Kate asked, the slight tremble in her voice betraying her very real concern.

"Not if you don't want me to." Caroline replied.

Kate nodded. "Okay, then don't. I don't want you to. I don't want you to see anyone else...ever." She added calmly, seriously.

Caroline let her smile show. "Are you asking me to ...how do they put it in America? Go steady?"

Kate mirrored the smile and touched her lips to Caroline's. "I'm asking you to be my girlfriend." She said steadily. "Will you?"

"Yes." Caroline agreed without thinking. To her this was only a formality, she really had been thinking of herself as belonging to no-one but Kate since that first kiss in a pub toilet, since long before then if she was honest.

Kate kissed her again, more firmly, to seal the deal. A kiss that made promises, that meant that this, that they, were set.

"So?" Kate smiled as she released her girlfriend momentarily. "Are we going out for dinner to celebrate?"

Only then did Caroline notice that they were still stood in the hallway.

Xxxx

_A/N- Thanks guys for all the support, I love reading your reviews.x_


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